Fighting ire with ire.
Theresa May could not have expected to wake up on Thursday morning to an attack from the US President Donald Trump, but here we are.
May, who lest we forget is still technically the British Prime Minister, yesterday offered a rare rebuke for Trump after he retweeted three unverified anti-Muslim videos posted by the deputy leader of a British far-right group.
Downing Street releases statement condemning Donald Trump retweeting Britain First https://t.co/ivSJStWnb2
— JOE (@JOE_co_uk) November 29, 2017
The videos, tweeted by Britain First’s Jayda Fransen and retweeted by Trump to his 43.6 million followers, were condemned by a spokesperson for May, who said, “Britain First seeks to divide communities by their use of hateful narratives that peddle lies and stoke tensions. They cause anxiety to law-abiding people. British people overwhelmingly reject the prejudiced rhetoric of the far right which is the antithesis of the values this country represents: decency, tolerance and respect.”
Number 10, though, has so far resisted calls to revoke the US President’s invitation to pay a state visit to Britain, with the spokesperson continuing, “The invitation for a state visit has been extended and accepted.”
With Britain’s exit from the European Union hurtling ever closer, May will be under no illusions of the necessity of preserving the “special relationship” as we look to negotiate new trade deals.
It must have come as some surprise then, for May to wake up this morning to find herself the target of Trump’s twitter ire. In a tweet posted overnight, the 71-year-old president addressed her directly and urged her to turn her attention away from his retweets and towards what he calls “the destructive Radical Islamic Terrorism that is taking place within the United Kingdom.”
.@Theresa_May, don’t focus on me, focus on the destructive Radical Islamic Terrorism that is taking place within the United Kingdom. We are doing just fine!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 30, 2017
Clearly, there is no precedent for how a British Minister should respond to a direct attack from a US President, and May is indeed yet to offer a reply. However, here are three options:
1. START A TWITTER BEEF
Whilst by no means a prolific tweeter – May’s official account boasts the grand total of 430 tweets, with only the first dozen or so purportedly composed by herself– it is never too late to learn. If we have learnt anything from Ed Miliband’s renaissance, it’s that the public love twitter sass from a previously staid and stage-managed politician.
Theresa May could finally show that strong and stable leadership she promised by taking back control of her twitter account from her staff and firing off some good ol’ fashioned abuse.
2. CANCEL THE STATE VISIT
With Trump’s state visit still planned to go ahead, now would be as good a time as any to revoke the invitation. Not only that, but perhaps May could put together some kind of travel ban that sees the US President denied entry into the UK altogether.
Once the travel ban is in place, May could then organise some kind of raffle whereby people pay £1 for a ticket. When the tickets have sold out, we could repurpose one of the Camelot’s old National Lottery machines to pick a winner. The prize would be to drive a plough around one of Trump’s Scottish golf courses.
Further revenue could be generated by selling the TV rights to Fox News in the US, so Trump could watch live. If enough money was raised, we could give £350m to the NHS.
3. GO AHEAD WITH THE STATE VISIT
Despite Trump’s objectionable twitter content, the PM may feel that as the leader of our closest ally, a US President – no matter how abhorrent – should still be afforded an official state visit.
The third option would see May invite Trump to the UK on an official state visit, but on arrival at Heathrow Airport, May has a life-size model of M C Escher’s never-ending stairs wheeled up the door of Air Force One. The US President, you’ll remember, is reportedly terrified of stairs and has often been observed clutching someone’s hand for support when heading up or down them.
Trump, rather than enjoying the customary hospitality normally afforded to a head of state, would be forced to walk up and down the steps in perpetuity.
