Day 12.
Wowsers! We were treated to some exciting television during I’m A Celeb last night.
Fizz off Coronation Street started a cult with the rest of her campmates and between them they carried out eight full murders on the unsuspecting I’m A Celeb crew while they working behind the scenes on the show.
Ant and Dec were culled, forcing the remaining producers to cast lookalikes to fill their roles. Few noticed during last night’s broadcast, but I did.
In reality it was another standard episode. They did a Bushtucker trial, it rained, they were hungry and moaned a lot.
Here’s five moments that were particularly tough to watch.
1. We learned that Amir Khan says ‘womit’ instead of ‘vomit’
Amir and Toff were subjected to a variety of disgusting cocktails as part of their Bushtucker Trial. The first drink saw Amir polishing of a frosty glass of vomit fruit. Credit where it’s due, he necked it in about three seconds flat.
Ant and Dec, ever the vultures, inquired as to how the drink tasted. Amir deadpan proclaimed that it “tasted like womit“. Naturally, Ant and Dec erupted into convulsions of laughter, as did Toff. Amir Khan is either a comedic genius or a below average intelligence man.
2. Toff legitimately thought one of her drinks was Kiosk Keith’s anus
Ant and Dec informed Toff that her final cocktail would be an anus. In giving her a hint as to which animal the anus belonged to, Dec said “It came over here quite snappy”. Rather than logically connecting the word ‘snappy’ with crocodile, Toff had other ideas.
Toff’s first reaction was “KEITH?”, at which point Ant and Dec informed her that Keith’s anus was in use at present, temporarily storing faeces as all good anuses do. This entire situation does nothing but strengthen the assumption that posh people are truly from another planet.
3. Dec measured himself against Dennis Wise to prove that he’s taller
It’s easily the best part of this series of I’m A Celeb. When Dec goes off on these tangents about how small Dennis Wise is while he’s sitting pretty at 5 foot 5 inches, AKA the exact same height. The jokes have been stellar and delivered perfectly. If they don’t get a BAFTA for this, everything has gone to shit.
Last night, Dec stood beside a screen showing himself being visibly taller than Dennis Wise. It was a glorious “these cows are small, but those cows are far away” moment and one that will be sorely missed on any subsequent series of I’m A Celeb. Unless they just bring someone small in next year as well.
4. Amir wasn’t sure if Kez was allowed to smile in the jungle
Amir and Toff were using their time alone as a good opportunity to have a bitch about all of the other celebrities. Amir started with Shappi who he expressed frustration with because given that she’s a comedian, he hasn’t heard any jokes yet.
Then he moved on to Kez, who he described as being asleep all the time, or else bossing him around. Amir said he’s never seen Kez smile, then queried as to whether she was allowed to smile. It’s a fair question as some Labour party leaders are strictly forbidden from smiling or they face 20 lashes with a wet whip.
5. Dennis and Vanessa completely missed a fist bump
If your mind stretches back as far as a few days ago, you’ll remember that Dennis and Jamie were involved in two separate fist bump fuck ups. In this particular instance, it’s Dennis and Vanessa, meaning it’s safe to conclude that Dennis is the one who’s at fault in the camp.
The pair had just collected a key for Amir and Toff’s secret mission, so decided to celebrate with a jovial fist bump. Somehow, both completely missed and ended up passing over and under each others’ fists. Such was the hilarity that you’d assume it was intentional, but it was not. Dennis Wise needs to learn how to fist bump properly or he will be forcibly removed from camp.
All images via ITV
