Going to the gym takes up a good few hours for many men up and down the land.
After so long, you become aware that many of your fellow gym-goers fall into certain categories. Here are just five examples:
The cardio freak
Was able to run 13 miles on a treadmill before learning to walk, its this guy’s mission in life to run, row, cycle and swim their body fat percentage down to below one percent.
Typically spotted wearing a souvenir t-shirt from a marathon they’ve run and a pair of shorts so ridiculously short that hair from their nether regions can be seen sprouting out, these guys rarely ventures across the threshold of the free-weights area.
The man in the mirror
Once in a while, checking your form in the mirror is a necessary part of gym life. For most men, this consists of a quick glance. But not for this guy…
Usually in good shape, this guy knows it and performs virtually all of his work out whilst gazing at his own reflection. In between sets, he’s seen readjusting his immaculately styled hair. Often the guy that follows his workout with a session on the sunbed.
The former bodybuilder
A sad sight, this. Once upon a time, this fella’s body was so pumped full of ergogenic aids (some legal, some not), that he entered body-building competitions. A couple of decades on, time has caught up with his torso, which now resembles a fat-covered barrel. Despite this, if you give him the time of day he still feels qualified enough to give you nutritional advice.
One thing he does still possess is his strength. Make no mistake about it, this guy might well be the wrong side of forty, but he can still bench press a house. Just to remind you, he’ll punctuate each rep with an head-turning, unnecessarily-loud grunt or groan. Upon completion of his set, expect him to drop his really heavy weights on the floor, too.
The know-it-all
Last exercise. You’re minutes away from a shower and the journey home. As you try with everything you have to squeeze out those extra few reps that will surely change your body into something resembling Brad Pitt’s in Fight Club, a voice interrupts from nowhere.
“You’re doing that wrong mate.”
He’s almost certainly not your ‘mate’ – you probably won’t even know the bloke. But, luckily for you, this helpful soul is here to tell you that “your core’s not engaged,” or “you’re doing it too quickly.”
The gym dad
Typically in his forties or fifties, the gym dad keeps himself to himself and doesn’t bother anyone.
Wearing a nice safe pair of good-value trainers on his feet with white socks stretched high up his calves, he simply gets on with it never making eye-contact with anyone.
When it comes to cardio, he’ll do a bit on the treadmill and a bit on the cross trainer. When he’s done, he’ll always demonstrate immaculate gym etiquette by wiping down his equipment with the towel that he slings around his neck as he ambles from one machine to another.
Occasionally, he’ll enter the weight area. He’s not arsed about piling on muscle, but he’ll always engage in a few low-weight reps just to show he’s still capable.
