Day 37.
You’d be forgiven for thinking you’d turned on the wrong channel last night as it was truly The Georgia Show.
From start to finish, everything was about Georgia which made for a very mediocre episode of Love Island because she is, as Tina Turner sang, ‘Simply The Best Worst’.
Some other stuff happened as well, Wes learned a harrowing fact and Josh revealed a disturbing hygiene habit.
Here’s six gravely important moments* you might’ve missed.
*may include some exaggeration because last night’s episode was boring as h*ck.
1. Adam tried to get back into the villa when he heard that two new girls would be arriving
Although he’s no longer on Love Island and is allegedly happy in the outside world with Zara, Adam couldn’t resist the opportunity to get to meet the new islanders and potentially crack on. He was spotted thanks to our sophisticated software which allows us to zoom into objects far in the distance. As is abundantly clear from the above image, that is Adam Collard on his way back to the villa to get a whiff of the new crop of contestants. He was unfortunately turned away from the villa upon arrival because he is no longer allowed to take part. He said “Honestly nah man I’m gutted like I just want to see what they’re like obviously I’m coupled up with Zara but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested”. Never change, Adam.
2. Sam accidentally revealed himself to be the dumbest person alive
The islanders had to choose which couple stayed. They picked Wes and Megan because they preferred them. No more, no less. That was the majority vote. Sam, aka The Birdman, upon learning that he and Georgia could stay but split up or go home as a couple, legitimately said to Georgia “You know why they’ve picked us? It’s because we’re the strongest, I know it”. Sam, my dude, you and Georgia are not strong. You are two garbage people that have found each other through sheer coincidence. Georgia does not fancy you now, nor will she ever. Please do not make this any harder than it needs to be. Fly away gracefully into the sun, Icarus.
3. Sam took some time out of his date with new girl Stephanie to creepily stare at Georgia on her date with Paul
Firstly, the concept of a date taking place where you’re waist-deep in water is ludicrous. From start to finish, it’s an absolute shitshow. Both girls had to awkwardly lump themselves into the pool, then sit on some kind of water-resistant stool apparatus and try to look comfortable and be present the entire time. Then, Sam takes a quick break from his date with Stephanie to stare longingly at Georgia while she’s on a date with carpenter Paul. Sam, regardless of whether you’re having the best date of your life or not, you still have to pay attention, especially if you’re partially submerged underwater. Discussion Question: Do we think that Sam had a quick wee in the pool? He was in there for a very long time.
4. Josh washed his face WITH HIS EYES OPEN like some kind of maniac
During the evening montage we got to see everyone getting ready for an exciting night filled with sitting in the exact same garden they’ve spent the past 37 days in. Josh was in the shower, having a quick scrub when it became apparent that he was washing his face with his eyes wide open. It is now safe and reasonable to conclude that Josh Denzel is a maniac. He does not have any fear. Shower gel in his eyes? Not something he’s in any way perturbed by. He could read a book while he’s in the shower if he wanted to. The man is insane. Get him out of the villa and into a laboratory for testing and analysis. This is not the kind of behaviour that we should be seeing on our television screens.
5. Jack learned that with the right amount of concentration, he can breathe a small amount of fire on cue
It’s taken him 26 years to master it, but last night, Jack Fincham learned that he can breathe a small amount of fire. It’s an impressive skill and one that’s sure to cement his future once he leaves the Love Island villa. This newfound ability could see Jack lighting candles and cigarettes on demand, starting fires, engaging in a small amount of arson, melting down metals for reuse and a variety of other tasks. People say from the moment that we’re born, we’re always learning. On this occasion, that’s been proven to be completely true. Jack Fincham has unlocked a new skill. He will get a complimentary badge and lanyard from the authorities at their nearest convenience.
6. Wes realised that he had been cloned and made 30% edgier
New guy Josh managed to fool a few people, but not Wes. Approximately thirty seconds into speaking with Josh, Wes worked out that he had been cloned. He’d never questioned why the Love Island producers wanted saliva, hair and skin cell samples at the beginning of the series, but in that very moment, it all became abundantly clear. Wes had been cloned and was now sitting face-to-face with an exact replica of himself, except this model was 30% edgier. His hair is slightly higher and got a tighter shape, he’s got two earrings and a nose ring and he never buttons the top four buttons of his shirt. Josh is Wes 2.0 and now Wes must be humanely destroyed. Godspeed, champ.
Images via ITV
