Oh no, oh no, oh sweet Jesus no
At this point we are giving you one big bad spoiler alert. Don’t go past this sentence if you’ve not watched season eight, episode five of Game of Thrones.
Game of Thrones is a violent show and as such we are rarely shocked when violence occurs. People have their heads chopped off, are disemboweled, have appendages removed, get eaten by dogs and stabbed through the eye and we all just shrug as if we are watching a particularly boring child trying to impress people at a family party.
There is a reason this show has become the go-to for violence on television though and its not for the occasional beheading here and there.
The reason that Game of Thrones has become synonymous with violence is because of scenes like that one from episode eight of season four, entitled ‘The Mountain and the Viper’.
In that episode we see Gregor Clegane AKA The Mountain battle against Oberyn Martell AKA The Viper in trial by combat, with The Viper stepping in for Tyrion Lannister.
The Mountain, as you might guess from his name, is all brute force and no personality. He is essentially a slab of cement with arms and legs. The Viper meanwhile is all skill, grace and charisma. Think a lava lamp with arms and legs.
The fight between the two and the aftermath was some of the most thrilling television that Game of Thrones has ever given us. We saw Oberyn take The Mountain down in a way we’d never seen before, only for his own hubris to lead to his undoing and, eventually, the crushing of his head.
That scene was what we meant by that scene.
This scene.
The sound of the screams. The sound of his skull crushing like a vase. It haunts us. And for a very real moment during Sunday morning/Monday night’s episode of Game of Thrones we were afraid that it was about to happen again.
In a way, it did. As the fight, known henceforth as Cleganebowl, between brothers Sandor (The Hound) and Gregor (The Mountain) wore on, we see Sandor rip his brother’s helmet off, revealing the undead and veiny mess underneath.
We then see, after a series of general sword swooshes and bumps, Gregor force Sandor against a wall, put his hands around his throat and – yes – you guessed it, try to gouge his eyes out with his massive undead, veiny thumbs.
This writer was, at this point, covering his face for fear of being traumatised by yet another face crushing, but thankfully Sandor escaped Gregor’s clutches and, using all of his might, pushed his brother – and unfortunately himself – to a fiery and poetic death.
Me when the Mountain puts his fingers on the Hound's eyes.#GameOfThrones pic.twitter.com/B2O9sWcu5o
— Unknown Indian 🇮🇳🚩 (@_i_am_unknown__) May 13, 2019
https://twitter.com/momodweik/status/1127772139665481728?s=20
https://twitter.com/sarahhjaafar/status/1127762490660724736?s=20
My reaction when the Hound doesn’t get the good ol’ Oberyn Martell eyes gouged out/head crushed treatment#GameOfThrones pic.twitter.com/ESYrUZnmLO
— Jay Tyler (@JAllie6) May 13, 2019
Thank God, the old and the new ones, for that.
