“I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel…”
Tyrion Lannister is one of the most affable characters in Game of Thrones. Performed wonderfully by Peter Dinklage, the youngest of the Lannister children is quick-witted, funny and smart in equal measure.
He is also something of a philanderer, for the majority of the show at least.
As the seasons go on Tyrion focuses his energy on helping Daenerys Targaryen claim the Iron Throne – big mistake obviously – and as such he put his days of debauchery behind.
It was never far from his mind though, as was obvious in one of the series’ final ever season, with Tyrion – now acting as the hand to King Bran, sits down with the Small Council, which includes Bronn as Master Of Coin, Ser Davos as Master Of Ships, Brienne leading the Kingsguard, and Samwell Tarly as Grand Maester.
They are discussing the rebuilding of King’s Landing after Dany’s decision to burn the entire fucking place to the ground, and are trying to prioritise what needs rebuilding first.
Bronn, being who he is, says that the brothels should take priority, before Brienne says “I think we can all agree that ships take precedence over brothels”.
To which Bronn replies, “I think that’s a very presumptuous statement”.
It is at this time that Tyrion says “I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel…”
Pretty weird, you may think.
But Tyrion actually begins to tell the joke twice before in the show, once before in the first season when he was Lysa Arryn’s prisoner, and a second time in season six when he, Grey Worm and Missandei are drinking wine together.
While we may never know what the actual ending is – unless George R.R. Martin decides to tell us, a Reddit user by the name of Retro21 has come up with what they believe to be a likely punchline, and it seems very apt for Tyrion.
Tyrion walks into a brothel with a honeycomb and a jackass.
Madame: What can we do for you?
Tyrion: I need a woman to lay with, for mine has left me.
Madame: Whatever for? And what’s with the honeycomb and the mule?
Tyrion: My woman found a genie in a bottle, and he granted her three wishes. The first was for a house fit for a queen, so he gave her this damn honeycomb. The second wish was that she have the nicest ass in all the land, so he gave her this damn donkey…
Madame: And what about the third wish?
Tyrion: Well… she asked the genie to make my cock hang down past my knee.
Madame: Well that one’s not so bad eh?
Tyrion: Not so bad!? I used to be six foot three!
