Protein. It’s the food of the Gods.
Muscle-bound, oiled-up, uber-ripped Gods, of course.
This anabolic ambrosia will no doubt be the cornerstone of any diet, eating plan or muscle-building programme.
Anyone eating clean to stay lean will know the anguish of trying to force another dry, tasteless chicken fillet down their gullet without giving up completely and marching down to Dominos.
But it doesn’t have to be like that. Protein powder is manna from heaven when tupperware boxes full of cold, sexless slabs of meat get too much to bear.
And there is literally nothing that you cannot make better (or at least fit your macros better) with a sprinkling of the good stuff.
Here are our 5 favourites…
Coffee
The drink of champions. There’s nothing a strong, black coffee won’t sort out – from Monday hangovers to the Humpday blues.
Sometimes we all just need a little decaffeinated kick up the arse to get us out of bed and attacking the day like a coffee-crazed kamikaze.
But what if we told you that morning brew could be even better? Stick a scoop of protein powder in it and you’ll thank us.
If your workplace doesn’t have one of these fancy espresso machines and serves up some bitter brown bilge that is tenuously labelled as ‘coffee’, then this is a way to actually make it taste better. Chocolate whey will make it taste like a creamy latte.
If you’ve no time for coffee and a protein-packed breakfast, this is your answer. Winner.
Directions: Just add one or two scoops of whey protein and a teaspoon of coffee to a cup. Add boiling water slowly and stir well so the protein doesn’t curdle, then top up with milk if you fancy. Easy.
Bread
There’s an ever growing army of anti-bread fascists out there. We don’t blame you – it can be pretty minging – especially the nasty white stuff they pump full of sh*te, taking out any vaguely natural ingredients and adding extra salt and sugar, just for the craic.
Around 1% of us suffer genuine wheat allergies, but many more are sensitive to gluten or are just left bloated and slugging by eating bread.
Some will ditch bread for good – you know the ones at barbecues you see eating a burger slapped between a makeshift bun of two giant, slimy mushrooms.
But if you don’t want to ditch the bread for a load of mushrooms (which don’t go great in a toaster), you can actually shoehorn protein powder into the baking process and make your own beefed-up bread.
Directions: Mix 2 and 1/2 cups of almond flour, two scoops of unflavoured protein powder, half a teaspoon of salt and half a teaspoon of baking soda in a bowl.
Whisk three eggs in a separate bowl and add a tablespoon of agave nectar. Then mix the wet ingredients into the dry ones.
Grease up a bread tin, heat your oven to 160 degrees and bake for 40-45 minutes or until a knife comes out clean. You can add fancy seeds like chia or pumpkin to the top if you’re into that kind of thing.
Ice cream
We love ice cream. No, we really love ice cream. If you’re anything like us, you’ll bulldoze a full one-litre tub with a teaspoon before you’ve even realised what’s happened.
Then when the brain-freeze has subsided and the cramps from essential nailing a litre of frozen, sugary cream, that’s when the food guilt sets in.
You read the label and see you’ve just ingested 200g of carbs, 50g of fat and about 1,500 calories… and now the diet’s up the swanny.
While it’s actually great for packing in the calories, nailing a tub of ice cream every week isn’t going to keep your abs sharp.
But if you’re adamant on getting that fix, there is a way…there’s always a way.
You just need protein powder, a few low fat ingredients and the will power to dodge the ice cream section at the supermarket.
Directions: Mix one scoop of protein powder, one tablespoon of cocoa powder and one cup of almond milk (or low fat yoghurt) together . You can add a teaspoon of Truvia to sweeten it up if you want.
Pour this into a shallow tupperware box and stick in the freezer. Every half hour run a fork through the mixture to remove any lumps. Repeat this three or four times until your ice cream is ready.
Oats
‘You’ll never get fat off oats’ someone once told us. We don’t know how true that is, but what’s clear is that oats are very good for you – especially the expensive gluten-free ones.
Packed with fibre, protein and lower glycemic index (slow release) carbs, they’re a brilliant way to start the day.
Just look at the kilted bloke on the front of the Quaker Oats box – not an ounce of fat on that athlete (Fun Fact: The Quaker Oats guy played ‘The Hound’ in Game of Thrones).
But the downside is that oats are so damn bland you’ll probably die of food boredom before you have the chance to put any weight on.
The solution? Protein powder, obviously. Whey comes in all different flavours and add it to your porridge to make a gloriously chocolatey, oaty gloop with it (stick some peanut butter in if you’re feeling extra cheeky).
Alternatively, here’s an actual recipe…
Directions: For breakfast protein flapjacks, mix 120g of rolled oats and 80g of whey protein in a bowl. Then mix 100g of natural peanut butter and 125ml of almond milk in along with 15g of acacia honey.
Pour the mixture into a baking tray lined with greased proof paper and chill in the fridge for 30 minutes (the mixture, not you).
Then bake for 10-12 minutes in the oven pre-heated to 190 degrees.
Pancakes
Americans are always eating pancakes. They bloody love ’em. They even stick bacon and maple syrup on them.
Here in Britain we’re a little more conservative. We won’t just eat any old crepe, but we’re getting a bit more adventurous than eating them once a year on Pancake Day doused in sugar and lemon.
They do make a bloody good breakfast or an evening snack. It’s just a shame they’re f**king awful for your figure.
That is until you sling some protein powder in them (and obviously substitute the sh*te for more suitable sustenance).
The you’ve got a tasty, filling, muscle-fueling meal that won’t make you feel like one of the Klumps after eating.
Directions: To make the batter, add one (or two) scoops of protein powder, one banana, 25g of rolled oats and one egg to a blender.
Then heat up coconut oil in a frying pan and add your batter mix and cook on a medium heat on both sides.
You can sex it up with anything from cinnamon, berries, more bananas or even a splash of honey.
This article was written in association with VoucherBin, who you can follow on Twitter here.
