If there’s anything Game of Thrones has taught us it’s that a little sweet talk will get you a long way with the ladies.
But what if they only speak the Dothraki tongue?
Well, if you want a go on Daenerys Targaryen’s dragons you’re going to need to master the lingo pretty quickly before the new series starts in April.
Good job JOE has put together these handy chat-up lines for the next time you’re out on the pull around the pubs and clubs of Essos.
You’re swigging a pint at a Dothraki bar when a gorgeous girl glides up to the bar. Once you’ve put your tongue and eyeballs back in your head it’s probably a good move to try and speak some actual words.
Try saying “hash yer dothrae chek asshekh” – which literally means ‘do you ride well today?’ Hopefully she wont get the thinly-veiled innuendo.
Dothraki women like a man who is strong and can take control. So maybe do a bit of showing off.
Start a fist fight, eat a cow’s heart or maybe just show her your ride (they’re really into horses).
Try saying “Hash yer ray tih hrazef anni?” which, without the help of Google Translate, means “Have you seen my horse?” Guaranteed to be impressed.
Things are going well. She admires your stallion and your swordsmanship – and she loved that joke you told about the horse that walked into a bar.
Then she tells you she has just turned 21 today. So instead of standing there gawping like a severed head on a spike at King’s Landing, say something nice.
“Anha zalak asshekhqoyi vezhvena yeraan!” should do the trick (Literally, ‘I wish you a happy birthday.’)
Your inner Peep Show monologue says ‘Buy her a drink, Mark, you tit. You’re in.’ She asks for a kumys (a milky alcohol drink those Dothrakians love so much).
“Ase shafki athdrivar” – “Your wish is my command” you quip back, in the style of Mark Corrigan.
You’re both swigging back the kumys, laying on your best lines and equine anecdotes – but it’s time to turn it up a notch.
A cheeky compliment perhaps, to test the water (I’m really starting to sound like Mark Corrigan now).
“You’re the moon of my life” – or in Dothraki “jalan atthirari anni.” She’ll think you’re bloody Hugh Grant with patter like that (Dothraki women are massive fans of British rom coms, we’ve heard).
She compliments your unkempt beard, your Kiss t-shirt and your strange earthy musk.
“Yer chomoe anna” you should reply (“You do honour me”). You’re really getting the hang of this Dothraki chat now (although maybe it’s the kumys courage).
Time to go in for the kill. Seal the deal. Bag the wild cat. Or whatever the kids are saying these days.
It might be a bit soon, but f*ck it. You’re drunk. Tell her she’s beautiful “Yer zheanae”.
Tell her you love her “Anha zhilak yera norethaan.” (I love you completely.)
Tell her you’re completely free of genital warts “Menobs notrotten ” (Sorry, sorry, I made that last one up).
The Dothraki don’t really have phones and they’re not massive fans of Facebook so you should ask:
“Hash anha atihak yera save?” which means ‘When will I see you again?”
Let’s just hope she doesn’t turn out to be an absolute mother of a dragon…
(H/T wiki.dothraki)
