The Ghostbusters have faced some tough challenges in their time.
There’s been Zuul, the demonic spirit that possessed Sigourney Weaver, medieval sorcerer Vigo the Carpathian, and who can forget the giant Stay Puft Marshmallow Man? But now it looks like they’ve encountered their biggest challenge yet – the case of the missing black actors.
That’s right, no one quite fathom what’s going on. You see, Sony Pictures are releasing a brand new version of the original 1984 Ghostbusters movie on 4k ultra HD disc, as well as Blu-ray, which includes previously unreleased bonus materials and crystal clear detail like never before.
But all of that added value seems to have come at a cost, because the iconic ghoul-capturing quartet have mysteriously become a feeble trio, according to the fancy set box cover at least.
Peter Venkman (Bill Murray), Raymond Stantz (Dan Aykroyd) and Egon Spengler (Harold Ramis) are all present and correct – but there’s no Winston Zeddemore (Ernie Hudson). All three lead white actors are even named above the film’s title – but no trace of poor Ernie…
I thought there were four ghostbusters pic.twitter.com/kDDuSMWT4d
— Stephen Duignan (@stephen_duignan) April 5, 2016
But it got us worried: what if Sony have somehow transported us all into some parallel universe where each and every black star of our favourite shows had been erased from history forever – just as Sony seem to have done to poor Winston. It’s a frightening thought. Just look at what they’d be left with…
The A-Team
The gang may still be a crack commando unit that was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit, but there’s no Sergeant Bosco Albert or ‘BA’ Baracus. That leaves us with Hannibal, Face and Murdock (as well as reporter Amy Amanda Allen). Getting on a plane is problem-free, but they’re f*cked each time they’re trapped in a shed surrounded by lots of spare motor parts.
Same Strokes
Like Diff’rent Strokes but far whiter. Basically, a fabulously rich widower by the name of Phillip Drummond lives in a huge mansion in Manhattan’s Park Avenue with his pretty daughter Kimberly. Sadly for them, they’ve got no poor black children from the wrong side of the tracks to patronise and feel very earnest and moralistic around.
Desmond’s
A Channel Four show set in Peckham, south-east London which has no racial diversity whatsoever. Its success is largely based around the good-humoured revelry and close-knit family atmosphere of a barbers with only one hairdresser – Tony (Dominic Keating). He’s a wise-cracking cheeky scamp who’s got no one to wise-crack at or be cheekily scampish to.
Friends
An incredibly popular American sitcom about a loveable group of twenty-something friends living in New York in the nineties. It follows the comic capers and romantic misadventures of Rachel, Monica, Ross, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe. Apart from a brief fling by both Ross and Joey, the show is exactly the same.
12 Years*
A film set in the mid-nineteenth century. Americans did nothing wrong then, and continue to do nothing wrong to this day. Sixty percent of US prisons are actually empty, and law enforcers don’t shoot, choke or discriminate against anyone.
*If that last one seems too ridiculous, check out this real poster for the Italian cinema release of the film. That tiny figure just next to Brad Pitt’s humungous chin is the lead actor, Chiwetel Ejiofor…
