It’s been a long wait, but fantasy football is back.
No doubt you’ve identified your key players, chosen your team name and picked your starting XI and subs.
Now comes the important part – working out which one of the five types of fantasy football player you are.
Billy Big-Balls
We’ve all got a mate who’s as enthusiastic as they come. They’ll talk about nothing but fantasy league prices for weeks on end and watch all the pre-season friendlies to get a feel for who’s going to start the first game of the season.
Then by September they’ll be bemoaning their luck after three players pick up injuries and their gamble on Swansea’s young full-back didn’t pay off.
By October they’ll have a new hobby, perhaps a niche South American league they’re putting bets on. By December, a new sport.
Fantasy league gold RT @mrewanmurray: Hardly breaking news but young Robertson is terrific at both ends of the pitch. Boundless energy.
— Vincent Forrester (@VJForrester) October 11, 2014
The Obsessive
You’ll quickly learn not to go to the pub with this person on a Thursday or Friday night. You’ll have downed your first pint and they’ll have taken just a couple of sips as they work through the latest spreadsheet on their laptop.
But they’re not finishing off school work – they’re calculating the optimal fantasy league strategy for the next month.
How dare you not know that Romelu Lukaku has a great scoring record against West Ham, or that Leicester have a double gameweek coming up in three weeks’ time. It’s as if you’re not even trying to win.
Eggs in one Double Gameweek shaped basket #FPL pic.twitter.com/47pORbu25v
— TC (@tommyclayts) April 25, 2015
The Club Loyalist
Harry Kane might be scoring week after week but the Club Loyalist still has Graziano Pellè up front. Why’s that? “I’m an Arsenal fan, I can’t have any Spurs players”.
We’re not ones to pass judgement here at JOE Towers, but they’re always Arsenal or Spurs supporters, without exception.
Most of them still hold grudges about Sol Campbell or Samir Nasri, and have at least thought about burning a personalised shirt after their former hero left the club. Ok, not most, all.
Last minute rush fantasy football team. Obviously no spurs players involved pic.twitter.com/r85aXOWUSM
— HannahArsenal (@arsenal_hannah) August 16, 2014
The Anti-Loyalist
Inevitably a pessimistic fan of a mid or lower table team, they’ll make a point to almost never pick anyone from their own team so as not to jinx them.
What’s more, they’ll quietly celebrate goals against their team if the scorer has earned them a few extra points. Hell, they’ll even rewind Sky Sports to see if the guy in their fantasy league team got assist points for the corner.
I'd be OK if we lost 3-2, as long as Tevez scored theirs and Nolan ours. I need the Fantasy Football points…
— Del (@WHU_Del) November 3, 2012
The Know-it-all
Most of us look at the bonus points as a nice little surprise at the end of the weekend. Surely no one takes issue with that tiny aspect of the game? Wrong.
“Sure, Rooney scored twice but Herrera had 95% pass completion and three out of four completed take-ons”.
“I don’t care, mate, I don’t even know you. Now do you want fries with that or not?”
https://twitter.com/NyeBeverage/status/536275611250356224
Have we missed anyone? Let us know by tweeting us @JOE_co_uk.
