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27th Mar 2015

5-Word News: Hopkins, Surprise, Erections, Weed, Catch

Today's top stories, in five words...

JOE

Hopkins

Full-time troll and wind-up merchant Katie Hopkins has promised to leave the UK if Ed Miliband becomes Prime Minister. Here’s hoping.

Surprise

Ed Sheeran surprised an Australian couple at their wedding reception after he heard about their plight, proving that northerners are the best people.

Erections

Boffins can now give a rat a hard-on at the flip of a switch: We’re not sure if this is a medical breakthrough or a cruel new torture method.

Weed

An entire Indonesian town got a terrible case of the munchies after local cops torched a huge bonfire of marijuana.

Catch

This dog can’t catch for sh*t. But don’t hold it against him, because this video is hilarious. Happy Friday.