After their summer time spring break, the soccer players of the English Premier EPL League are back for some more kicks.
As the fans prepare for their opening weekend tailgate parties, here’s a look at a bunch of stuff that you guys should be looking out for when the clock strikes soccer o’clock this weekend.
The Soccer Cannons turning up the heat in the hunt for an EPL World Championship
After doing real bad soccer for a while, the Soccer Cannons have transformized into one of the British league’s most winningest franchises in the last two years. Coach Wenger’s guys have got themselves a few cups and after beating Chelsea Franchise Club in the FA Shield Cup a few days back, they’ll be looking to get themselves the EPL World Championship itself this time around. If Jack Wheelchair can quit getting hurt, expect to see that cup back in London.
The Soccer Berries enter their EPL Freshman year
Bourne Mouth will look to find their identity in the EPL League after showing their supremacy in the EPL minor leagues. If they can reproductify the real neat soccer plays which helped get their asses in to the EPL League in the first place, this franchise will be leaving an awesome legacy behind them.
Liver Pool players trying to follow in Stevie Gee’s cleatsteps
Way back, Liver Pool would dominize the English soccer scene. But, like a sleeping giant, they’ve been asleep: playing soccer that’s badder than a kindergarten kid’s speling and gramar. But is that about to change? Maybe. After watching their long time MVP, Stevie Gee, realize his dream and go play for the LA Galaxy, you can bet your ass that every guy on their roster will be busting their ass to get their ass a move to MLS.
Geoff Cameron
Geoff Cameron is to deefense what wings are to an airplane; what real ugly people are to cosmetic surgeons and what America is to the world: essential. While Cameron waits on a time when he can get a shot back at MLS, Stoked City’s rear will not be getting penetrized too much. Expect the EPL MVP prize for this guy this season.
The new look Man Unity
With Diva Maria heading off to PSV, RSVP being posted away and Radical Falcao trying to remember how to use his legs again at Chelsea Franchise Club, the Unity have lost some big names from their roster. As Coach Louis van Gogh looks to create another soccering masterpiece, new guys have been brought in.
Memphis the Pie has joined from PSG and Wesley Schweinsneijderlin has also become a Soccer Devil, and should all help the President of the Penetration himself, Dwayne Rooney, as he looks to fire the goalshots. With a deefense like a leaking faucet, watching the Unity should be kinda fun this year.
