Day 16.
What a night. What a show. What an island.
Last night’s episode was mostly dominated by Rosie and Adam’s breakup, but that doesn’t mean there was an absence of action elsewhere.
You might not have noticed at the time, but there’s actually a lot that they’re trying to keep hidden from us. For instance, did you see that Jack has 6 toes on one foot, all of which are big toes? Just six big toes in a row, did you see them? No? That’s because they’re doing a very decent job of keeping it a secret and also I just made that up.
Here’s six things you might’ve missed during last night’s Love Island.
1. Adam and Alex actually made a very decent dessert for the new girls, but let’s not forget that Adam is still scum
*squints intensely* What I’m seeing here is banana, strawberries, blueberries, ice cream, cream and chocolate sauce. Truly, I hate to praise anything that Adam has ever done, but that’s a very decent looking dessert. It’s more practical to believe that Alex was the mastermind behind this display, so let’s go with that. Adam might have scooped the ice cream out of the tub because he is a strong man, but let’s pin the rest of it down to Alex. The only thing Adam can make is a disgrace of is himself, time and time again. Alex though, what a guy. Good job.
2. Adam seemed to storm off from an argument with Rosie but he actually just needed a poo
Rosie and Adam were having a barney. Rosie was clearly upset and trying to work things out, but Adam completely shut down and denied everything. The whole argument went nowhere due to his refusal to apologise or acknowledge his stupidity, at which point he got up and stormed off. As he walked past the kitchen, Josh and Georgia asked if he wanted to join them in comfort eating some ice cream, but Adam told them that he was going to go to the toilet. Suddenly, it all became clear. Adam didn’t want to argue because he needed a poo. He staged the walk off because he was turtle necking. What a pig.
3. Georgia and Rosie slept like an elderly couple that were married for 60 years and chose to die in each others’ arms overnight
Rosie was still annoyed with Adam even after he’d had a poo, so she chose to sleep outside. Georgia joined and did her best to cheer up her pal. Then, like a true best friend, she snuggled into Rosie and they fell asleep in each others’ arms, much like an elderly couple named Mildred and Frank, who had been married for 60 years and made the tough decision to acquire some euthanasia drugs so that they could pass away peacefully together in their sleep while they still had control of their own bodies and mind. Truly, there is nothing in this world stronger than the bond between two girls that are best friends. Except maybe death.
4. Alex denied Ellie the opportunity of ever being able to buy a house
Look at that plate. Bacon, egg, toast and AVOCADO. What Alex intended to be a special breakfast for himself and Ellie quickly turned into a very malicious act. Ellie, a millennial, is susceptible to inflation just like the rest of us. But she’s also in the age bracket whereby the consumption of one single sliver of avocado could ruin her chances at ever being a homeowner. The research has been around for years, which conclusively proves that there is a direct correlation between millennials eating avocados and not being able to afford houses after previous generations destroyed the housing market because of their insatiable greed. Alex has trapped Ellie. He’s a doctor with the NHS so he’s fine, but Ellie will never buy a house of her own accord. Not after eating some avocado. She’s stuck with him forever now.
5. The islanders have got a lot of juice in the fridge. Almost too much juice?
At guess, I’d say there are over 1,000 cartons of juice in the fridge pictured above. Certainly no less than 1,000. What is the villa’s obsession with juice? At a push, my fridge has one carton of orange juice in it at any given time. These islanders are being spoiled, there’s pineapple juice, apple, orange, even some different varieties of milk. I get that it’s a summer holiday for them, but that much choice is far too lavish. It’s all going to go to their heads once they leave the island. They’ll be demanding multiple cartons of juice everywhere they go. They’re going to turn into monsters. The Love Island should fry for what it has done. This is an unrealistic representation of how much juice any fridge should have.
6. Wes used grubby swimming pool water to wash squirty cream off his face, which was Laura’s plan all along
Laura, in a very subtle bid to get Wes’ attention thereby distracting him from Ellie’s flirtation, sprayed whipped cream directly into his eye. Naturally, Wes wasn’t thrilled and went about removing the aerosol ejection from his peepers. Rather than going into the bathroom to use proper water, Wesley hunched over the edge of the swimming pool and used the crusty water to clean his eyes. For context, everyone has been in that pool. Every single islander with their gross feet and skin conditions all shed bodily remnants in it and Wes rubbed it right into his eyes. Perhaps now he will see sense and treat Laura with some goddamn respect. The girl is an evil mastermind. He can’t run away from her when he’s blind.
Images via ITV
