Day 2.
Oh heck, we’re in deep now and there’s absolutely no going back.
Two episodes in and finally things are starting to take shape. We’ve already found our hero, our villain and our token moron. All that’s left to find is an asthmatic and we’ve got a full house on the bingo sheet.
Here’s six key moments you might’ve missed on last night’s Love Island.
1. Niall Got Ralphed
Adam is to Niall what Lisa Simpson was to Ralph Wiggum. Nobody saw him coming for Kendall, least of all Kendall, which made this ultimate act of savagery all the more delicious to watch. Niall pouted at first, putting on a brave face for the sake of his burgeoning fanbase, but the cracks were visibly. As Bart Simpson pointed out, ‘you can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half’ in the above screenshot. For day two of the show, this is some heavy drama and I, personally, am extremely here for it.
2. Adam is a simple man. A man who is impressed by garlic mayo but cannot pronounce its name
Imagine going on a date and the first thing, the very first thing that you tell your mates is the fact that you ate some garlic infused oil. Add to this, the fact that you cannot pronounce ‘alioli’ correctly, and for some reason add a third ‘l’ into proceedings because you are so deeply distracted by its delicious nature. As soon as Adam and Kendall got back from their Judas date, Niall needed to hear that it went badly for the sake of his wellbeing. Instead, he was met with an excitable announcement from the pair that they had necked some garlic mayonnaise together. These people are insensitive morons.
3. Hayley wears glasses to bed so that she can see her dreams better
Once she got her empty glass, orange and pink pineapple, bottle of water and glasses assembled, Hayley was ready for bed. (This relies heavily on presumption, but also a pretty accurate gauge of Hayley’s intelligence cumulated over the past two days). I’m quite certain that if you told Hayley to wear glasses to bed because it helps you to see your dreams better, she’d very likely believe it. That says more about my desire to be an arsehole more so than it does about her being gullible, but the thought came into my head and I just needed to get it out of my system. Thank you for your patience.
4. Niall silently sat and watched Kendall and Adam in bed together because he is probably going to murder them both and wear their skin as a kaftan
Everyone deals with heartbreak in different ways. Some turn to alcohol, others hit Deliveroo hard, and some lie awake at night staring at their ex with their new partner. Niall falls into the latter category here and that’s entirely fine. He’s known Kendall for two days at this point, so naturally this heartbreak is going to come at a severity most of us can’t even imagine. Whatever helps get Niall through these difficult times is absolutely acceptable. Perhaps a personalised video message from Daniel Radcliffe could be drafted in by the Love Island producers? The man is in a crisis. He needs a boost.
5. Hayley pied Alex because “he’s got a professional job”, which is the best and most logical reason not to kiss someoneÂ
In classic Love Island fashion, the first task involved a series of questions that could only be answered by necking each other. Alex hasn’t had a great amount of luck on the show so far, but he turned things right around when he went to kiss Hayley. Just kidding, she flinched and he ended up kissing a small patch of air right in front of her face. It was quite a spectacle to behold, made all the more funny by Hayley’s later admission in the diary room that it was “awkward… it might be because he’s got a professional job or something”. I cannot wait to read the think pieces about kissing employed vs unemployed people later today.
6. Hayley called Eyal ‘Eagle’ and that is henceforth his name now because it’s just easier for everyone involved
Eyal is hard to pronounce and it doesn’t make matters any easier when Eyal himself adopts a different accent entirely when he says it, like someone that’s been to Barcelona once on a school tour and insists on calling it Bar-the-lona every single time they say it. Mixed with a heavy Scouse accent, it’s understandable that Hayley is having a tough time getting to grips with saying ‘Eyal’. Last night’s slip of the tongue couldn’t have come soon enough, where she mistakenly called him ‘Eagle’. Legally, that is his name now. Henceforth, we shall be referring to Eyal as Eagle, as recognised in this court of law *bangs gavel*.
Images via ITV
