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15th Feb 2022

Conservatives are losing their minds at the ‘sexual anarchy’ of Super Bowl performance

Kieran Galpin

Since when was ‘sexual anarchy’ a negative?

American conservatives have hit back at the recent Superbowl halftime show – and their comments are bordering on parody.

The Superbowl halftime show is always incredible; after all, how could it not be? The world’s biggest stars take to the stage with a decoration budget larger than the Number 10 flat, clad in elaborate costumes and (mostly) singing live to their biggest hits. In the UK, where American Football is not as popular, the halftime show is still a cultural phenomenon.

Who doesn’t love the halftime show? Well, it turns out conservatives don’t – but are you really shocked?

This year’s performance saw artists Eminem, Dr Dre, Kendrick Lamar, Mary J. Bilge, Snoop Dogg and a bat-like 50 Cent hanging from the ceiling take to the stage. Standout moments include Snoop’s pre-show joint and of course, Eminem taking the knee.

However just when everyone was having fun, the conservatives had to pull up.

“The NFL is now the league of sexual anarchy. This halftime show should not be allowed on television,” wrote radio host Charlie Kirk. Senator Ocasio Cortez quickly responded with, “Like I said, weirdos.”

The phrase “sexual anarchy” quickly became popular on Twitter, with New Yorker writer Patrick Radden Keefe writing: “I was told there’d be sexual anarchy.”

Countless Twitter accounts, most of which boasted a Trump reference in their bio, were enraged by the “most racist halftime show ever” – but here’s the kicker – it’s racist because there were no white people. The quick thinkers among you will have already realised that despite the enormous number of tweets, Eminem is white.

Journalist Max Weiss wrote: “I think it’s hilarious that conservatives were complaining that no white people were performing during the halftime show yesterday. Eminem’s dream has come true!”

Nick Adams, whose bio reads “endorsed by President Trump”, added: “Ted Nugent, Kid Rock, and Lee Greenwood would put on a better Halftime Show than these hoodlums.”

Conservative Sean Spicer appeared bewildered by the show, tweeting: “Dear @NFL /@pepsi What was the message of the #HalfTimeShow?”

Surprisingly, author Candace Owens had nothing but nice words to say: “This is an excellent Super Bowl halftime performance. Undeniable hip-hop and R&B excellence.”

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