Week 4 – Bodybuilding Expo
We were treated to another stellar episode of The Apprentice last night, this time getting to witness the candidates at a hectic bodybuilding expo.
As expected, the gang made utter mugs of themselves trying to fit in in a world that was completely alien to them.
Luckily, an abundance of cringe television ensued.
Here’s 9 moments that were particularly tough to watch. Relive them through partially-shielded eyes.
1. Kayode dropped the most savage line of 2018 and is now Prime Minister of the United Kingdom
Kayode! Ray Charles is blind! You can’t say that. No matter how funny that idea is, you cannot simply go on national television and use a man’s blindness to emphasise your frustrations. Actually, you know what? Scratch everything I just said. It was funny. Really funny. Ray would’ve loved it. Kayode is now the Prime Minister of the UK.
2. Alex couldn’t contain his confusion when he saw a female bodybuilder
Yes Alex, muscles, but on a lady. Just like a muscly man, except she is a woman. Women can do bodybuilding as well. It’s the exact same process, training hard, using a large amount of fake tan and consuming a whole bunch of protein shakes and kale. Got it? Terrific. Perhaps when you get a chance you can close that trap and at like a business professional. Good lad.
3. Karren browsed the bodybuilding bikini range while she was supposed to be working
FFS Karren you’re supposed to be taking notes so that you can snitch to Lord Sugar in the boardroom, despite the entire day being recorded on camera therefore negating the necessity for you and Claude, or your notebooks. Now isn’t the time to be picking up a sparkly bikini. Look alive! At least frown or roll your eyes when the candidates say something dumb. That’s literally your entire job.
4. Claude had a sauna halfway through the day because he too is an absolute waster
There was something in the air during The Apprentice last night, you could smell it. Karren was off picking out bikinis, Claude was having a go in the saunas with a towel on his head for some reason, looking like a Wise Man who’d just completed a hefty workout and needed a quick few minutes of R&R. The pair of them are making a mockery of this show. Their work ethic has gone to filth. We need new snitches.
5. The client trash talked Alex without realising that he was also listening in on the phone call
After informing Sabrina and Daniel that he was happy to choose them as vendors of his product, the client then expressed concerns that Alex didn’t really understand the business. This visibly came as a shock to Alex, who was also listening in on the call at the time, which culminated in a timid “Okay… will prove you wrong”, to make it known that he too was on the call. LOL.
6. The cut-away shots of the expo were, at times, questionable
No accusations here, but it seems as though The Apprentice production crew had a terrific time at the bodybuilding expo, gathering B-roll footage to give viewers a real sense of these kind of events entail. The close-ups were at times, unnecessary, but the image above was one of many crackers. Look at the judges, particularly the second and third from the right. Work hard, play hard. Follow your dreams, etc.
7. David Haye suitably bodied Kurran for having a broken arm
As a reward for winning the task, Sarah’s team got to go boxing with David Haye. Kurran, who broke his arm doing something stupid the week before, was unable to take part in the festivities. So naturally, he turned up to the gym in a full suit, with his arm visibly in a sling. Haye immediately bodied him (and rightfully so) but his words were weak. “We’ve got a sick note already” didn’t quite cut as deep as Kurran deserved. At least compare him to McGregor or tease his ridiculous hair or general Lord Farquaad appearance.
8. The grubby café where the candidates go to argue has CCTV for some reason?
What are the patrons going to steal? The tiny tub of sugar that someone has absolutely put a wet spoon back into? Or a box of the squeaky styrofoam cups that customers have the misfortune of using? This is a gross misuse of surveillance. Bridge Cafe doesn’t need CCTV, it needs actual crockery and soundproof booths so customers don’t have to overhear the insufferable candidates ripping each other to shreds.
9. The Apprentice house guests’ evening attire was incredibly varied
Sabrina and Sian returned victorious to the house and were greeted by a group of people that all appeared to be attending very different events. Jasmine was getting ready to sing at the opera, Jackie was about to paint her spare bedroom a vibrant shade of blue, Daniel was heading to a midnight beach party in Costa Rica, Camilla was about to go down the gym for a quick hit of HIIT and Sarah was just chilling out at home waiting for the Corrie omnibus to come on. In summary, these candidates are insane and I cannot bloody well get enough of them.
Images via BBC
