Good grief.
You may know Ariel Winter as the famous comedy actress who plays Alex Dunphy in US sitcom series Modern Family, or perhaps if you’re a parent you will recognise her voice as that of Sofia the First in the Disney Junior show.
But if you’re the Daily Mail, Winter is a quite remarkable woman who is so diligent and thoughtful that she remembers to bring various attached body parts with her wherever she goes. She is never without all her limbs and fingers and toes.
If that sounds rather odd, it is. Why of course you wouldn’t step out of your front door without every fixture of your physical self accompanying you. Surely only a braindead idiot would suggest not severing a part of you was an achievement.
That brings us to the Mail, who in their infinite wisdom, decided to frame a story about Winter going on a festive outing with her family as a day trip with her own chest. We shit you not – they made the story about her body parts just because.
So the famed singer and four-time joint winner of the Screen Actors Guild Award for Best Ensemble in a Comedy Series was essentially defined as a woman with breasts, who had the forethought to not forget them at home.
Sadly the headline ‘Ariel Winter takes her family and her cleavage to see Santa at the Grove in LA’ is not a pisstake. It’s all too real and ridiculous…
https://twitter.com/hannahcollazo/status/811424850308976641
https://twitter.com/wwaputa/status/811344507635699713
I'm with Ariel. I hate it when I forget to bring my tits places with me and they have to stay home watching a place in the sun https://t.co/lkInqGtIAH
— Felicity Morse (@FelicityMorse) December 20, 2016
https://twitter.com/wdbwotv_/status/811444076306452480
Meanwhile in Daily Mail land, woman makes conscious decision to gather up all her body parts before leaving the house. pic.twitter.com/3RsvMEMDA6
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) December 20, 2016