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24th May 2016

‘The Simpsons’ star Hank Azaria gives graduation speech using characters’ voices

Moe, Chief Wiggum, Apu and more give advice.

Carl Kinsella

We are very jealous of these graduates.

Commencement speeches are a big deal in the US, particularly in the more prestigious colleges. It’s common practice for people as important as Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Steve Jobs, Conan O’Brien and Will Ferrell to impart wisdom unto graduating classes before they head out into the world.

Tufts University, based in Massachusetts, managed to get Hank Azaria to deliver their commencement speech yesterday – and after doing 12 minutes of the speech in his own voice, he gave the people what they wanted: his Simpsons voices.

The 52-year-old is the voice behind such legendary Springfieldians as Chief Wiggum, Moe Szyslak, Comic Book Guy and Apu – and he breaks ’em all out here.

He then ends with some advice from Agador Spartacus, his character from the 1996 movie The Birdcage, which also starred Robin Williams and Nathan Lane.

It sure beats the regular “follow your dreams” platitudes.

Clip via tuftsu.

His Simpsons-inspired advice includes:

[As Chief Wiggum]: “Kids, you didn’t hear this from me, but if a cop even thinks that you’re going to throw up in their back seat, they will immediately let you go. No crime is worth having to clean yak out of a seat-belt hole.”

[As Apu]: “Remember children, that in life there is nothing so disgusting that it cannot be sold in a heated roller at a nearly-criminal mark-up.”

[As Comic Book Guy]: “Life is like the Star Wars movies. Some of it is great, some of it sucks, but you have no choice but to sit through all of it—very similar to the commencement speech you are listening to now.”

Azaria himself has had a long career in Hollywood. While The Simpsons is very much his 9-5 anchor (imagine being in the position to be able to say that?!), he also has appeared as Phoebe’s scientist boyfriend in Friends, and in the movies America’s Sweethearts, Shattered Glass, and Godzilla.

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Topics:

The Simpsons