The rumours and speculation about who will be the next James Bond have been churning for a couple of years, and have been ball-numbingly boring for just about as long.
According to the gossip pages of the New York Post, we can now cross one name off the list: Tom Hiddleston.
The suave Englishman best-known for playing Loki in the Marvel movies has reportedly been turned down by Bond producer Barbara Broccoli because “he’s a bit too smug and not tough enough to play James Bond.”
Citing “multiple sources”, the Post say that Hiddleston’s ill-fated fling with Taylor Swift, coupled with his cringey Golden Globes speech, counted him out of the running for the 007 role.
Though Hiddleston proved he can play the espionage game in the hit TV series The Night Manager, the role perhaps didn’t require him to wrestle as many baddies and jump through as much glass as James Bond would be expected to.
And smug – isn’t Bond supposed to be smug? Whether Hiddleston is smug or not is down to your own prejudices, but patting yourself on the back for making a TV show that aid workers in Sudan binge-watched is not quite the definition of humility.
So who will be the next Bond? If these sources are to be believed, there is no ‘next’ Bond just yet.
Broccoli has apparently convinced Daniel Craig to return for one more outing as 007, despite saying in 2015 that he would rather “slash his wrists” than play the part again.
We’re not complaining. Craig is easily the best bond, and we’d be thrilled to see him ba-
*a mob marches up the street to the JOE office, chanting “CON-NER-Y, CON-NER-Y“*
I must flee.
