We’ve already brought you the shocking revelations about what happens to your body when you have a can of Coke or Red Bull…
But what about being linked Sergio Ramos? How do strong rumours that your favourite football club are about to swoop for Real Madrid’s club captain effect your health?
Here’s the shocking science. Trust us – you’ll never want to be linked to Sergio Ramos again…
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First week
When the transfer rumour first hits you, there is an immediate spike in excitement and an urge to include the player in possible formations.
2-4 weeks
Your brain starts to send messages to your keyboard about why Ramos would relish the prospect of playing alongside Chris Smalling, Jonny Evans and Phil Jones.
3-5 weeks
Delusion sets in as you completely dismiss the possibility of signing the likes of Stefan de Vrij because ‘he’s no Sergio Ramos’.
6-8 weeks
Excitement turns to anger as there’s no progress. Blood pressure rises and there is a strong desire to indiscriminately berate La Liga journalists.
9-11 weeks
You start to hallucinate and see things that aren’t really there, like Ramos ‘cutting a forlorn figure in matches’, and displaying his anger with Florentino Perez in the way he shakes his hand.
12-14 weeks
There is a huge come down as Ramos signs a new contract with Real Madrid. The crash is followed by a sudden curiosity about whether De Vrij is available.
