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Food

23rd Jun 2016

23 food rules that should never, ever be broken

This is the law.

Alex Finnis

1. KitKats must always be snapped before eating. Doing this is fucking sacrilege.

Twitter: @AbuKohl

Twitter: @AbuKohl

2. Ketchup goes on the side of the chips. Never, ever on top. Never.

Twitter: @daehyjuns

Twitter: @daehyjuns

This is 100% worth unfriending someone over.

3. And it’s a condiment, not a sauce. You can’t just put it on spaghetti and call it a meal.

Twitter: @saesisumarlida

Twitter: @saesisumarlida

4. It goes tea bag, water, milk. If you meet anyone who thinks milk first is acceptable it is strongly encouraged that you call the police immediately.

Twitter: @Paulaaarrrr

Twitter: Paulaaarrrr

This is disgusting.

5. You eat the pointy bit of the pizza first. Obviously. This is so not OK.

Twitter: @Jewel_Emree

Twitter: @Jewel_Emree

Now you’re gonna get your hands all greasy, idiot.

6. If you don’t open your crisps the right way up, you will get bad luck forever and probably die.

Twitter: @flyinghaggis77

Twitter: @flyinghaggis77

Dying is bad.

7. Cheesestrings must always be peeled. What’s the fucking point of Cheesestrings if you don’t make them into cheese strings?

Twitter: @beccajoyyy

Twitter: @beccajoyyy

8. When you’re eating wings, you should actually, you know, eat the wings.

Twitter: @KendrickPrevatt

Twitter: @KendrickPravatt

These wings are about 30% finished.

9. And ribs too. Seriously what even is this mess?

Twitter: @jean__jang

Twitter: @jean__jang

10. If you’re in a restaurant with a drink machine and you’re under 12 years old, it is the law that you have to mix all the drinks together to create a weird brown cocktail.

Screen Shot 2016-06-23 at 14.39.09

Twitter: @shotlandskiy

And it’s ~definitely~ still acceptable when you’re an adult too.

11. The only acceptable liquid to put in your cereal is milk. Not water, or orange juice, or fucking COCA COLA.

Twitter: @sashajpeg

Twitter: @sashajpeg

12. And the milk goes in after the cereal, ffs.

Twitter: @FantasyGaffer

Twitter: @FantasyGaffer

13. A pie should have pastry all the way round, not just some shit flimsy lid. This is not a pie, it’s meat with a haircut.

Twitter: @p4ulmiller

Twitter: p4ulmiller

14. You must always try to peel a satsuma in one go, because what else is life about if not those tiny victories?

Twitter: @LeighBurton3

Twitter: @LeighBurton3

15. When eating Jaffa Cakes, you MUST eat all the cakey bit round the outside before you can touch the orangey bit.

Twitter: @KatarinaHardy

Twitter: @Katarine Hardy

If you can get the whole orange bit on its own, completely undamaged, then you’re basically a genius.

16. All burgers must be eaten with your hands, even if it’s fucking massive and impossible to hold.

Twitter: @LauraHarrison97

Twitter: @LauraHarrison97

It’s a fact that burgers are 65% less enjoyable when eaten with a knife and fork.

17. This might sound obvious, but apparently it’s not obvious enough – please take the wax off a Babybel before you eat it.

Twitter: @YaBroSunny

Twitter: @YaBroSunny

18. If you’re sharing dip with other people, you must never double dip, because that’s gross.

Twitter: @Sofiapips

Twitter: @Sofiapips

19. A roast without gravy is not a real roast. Don’t settle for this bullshit.

Twitter: @ashley_tremble

Twitter: @ashley_tremble

So, so dry.

20. When you’re having a Fab, you absolutely must eat all the chocolatey bit off the top first. You must.

Twitter: jemmakennedy911

Twitter: @jemmakennedy911

Essentially you need to do exactly the opposite of this person.

21. The correct spoons for eating yoghurt are: teaspoon for little pots, dessert spoon if you’re eating from one of those big Greek yoghurt ones.

Twitter: @claire_lomas

Twitter: @claire_lomas

22. Cake must be eaten in a uniform manner. Don’t be a part of whatever the fuck’s happened here.

Twitter: @dnlllyons

Twitter: @dnlllyons

23. Oh, and if you’re making cake, it needs to actually be made out of cake.

Twitter: @bukakecreamteam

Twitter: @bukakecreamteam

Not bologna and mayonnaise. What is wrong with people?