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01st Jul 2021

British man ‘first in world’ to break penis vertically

Kieran Galpin

This is not a record you want to break

A man and his penis is a powerful bond. So much so that we tell pregnant women that being kicked in the balls is more painful than childbirth, and ‘blue balls’ is beyond agony. However, if you thought that was painful, try breaking your penis vertically.

Try not to throw up at this part:

In a study published in the British Medical Journal, A 40-year-old man, who is unnamed probably due to shame, injured his appendage while having sex. Doctors reportedly said his chopper “buckled” when coming into contact with the area between the anus and genitals. So basically, his guided missile was not on the correct course.

A d*ck break occurs when the protective layer around the erectile tissue, which pumps blood to the penis, is damaged due to an ‘unusual bending’. What John Doe was doing with his ‘unusual bending’ has not been released.

The Plot softens:

Unlike most breaks, where the penis immediately deflates, John Doe was stuck with his erection for some time. After it gradually softened he was able to seek medical attention. He told doctors he did not hear the popping sound, but that isn’t the strangest part of the story.

Following an MRI, a three-centimetre-long vertical tear on the right-hand side of his penis revealed itself.

The gentleman, who will be going gentle from now on, underwent surgery to prevent long-lasting issues and potential erectile dysfunction. He will be able to take another stab at the task after a few months.