The Mormon’s are into some crazy stuff
The internet is split in their opinions over a Mormon sex activity known as ‘soaking’ which stays within the religion’s pre-marital sex oath forbidding all Mormon’s from engaging in most sexual activity.
Whilst commonly referred to as ‘soaking’, other terms used to describe the action include ‘derfing’, ‘parking’ and ‘surfing’ – but what is it? Well, it involves a man putting his penis into a woman but not doing anything else.
Some Mormon teens have convinced themselves that putting a penis in a vagina and then not moving is not sex. That’s called soaking. Jump humping is when you get someone to jump on the bed next to you soaking to get some friction going without you technically causing the movement
— vogueress, RN (@slippish) September 24, 2021
Everyone’s favourite online resource, The Urban Dictionary, describes the act as being similar to planking, continuing to say that there is “no thrusting, no grinding, no climax” and that Mormons’ just “pop it in, and hold the f**k still”.
Under the Mormon religion, any sexual activity – from oral sex, to overly-passionate kissing – is forbidden unless you are married. ‘Necking’ is a term used by Mormons to describe passionate kissing with intimate touching, which they believe is both ‘sinful’ and an ‘abomination before God’.
https://twitter.com/FedeleJenn/status/1442945910833516553
Folks on the internet are confused by the act of ‘soaking’, partially due to its explanation evoking a pretty graphic picture in their minds.
“I would like to return to a simpler time when I didn’t know what “soaking” is. It was about two seconds ago,” one person wrote in reply to another tweet.
One Twitter user who might need therapy wrote, “need a porno of this situation asap.”
https://twitter.com/ValueExtractor/status/1442268446557757442
The general consensus among Mormons is that intercourse refers to the physical act of thrusting and moving, hence why their loophole involves just lying there. Are you allowed to play Xbox while you do it, though?
“Mormons get up to some real kinky shit to please God,” wrote one person.
“Regretting that I found out what this means,” added lawyer Rabia O’Chaudry – a statement we can all reciprocate.
Related links:
- Scientists create synthetic beef from $30,000 cow cells using 3D printing
- Farmer drop kicks vegan protestor for invading his property
- Man attempts to ‘relieve constipation’ by putting an eel up his bum