Truly, this is the end of days
Is this news? Is it? Sometimes I ask myself that, after scouring the internet trying to find the latest scoop to deliver to you, my audience, like a flood of hot coffee down your throat.
In a way, yes, yes it is news because there are two parties involved here – the artist formerly known as Kanye West, Burger King – who are giants of our time.
One, a global fast-food chain found in airports and train stations and always roughly 30m away from a McDonald’s, stalking its rival like a creepy uncle, and the other, an idiot. A massive imbecile.
It is only fitting that these two totems of modernity should clash, that they should butt heads on the Athenian Agora of our time: Twitter, the marketplace of new ideas and unbridled creativity, but also the place where the exact same four memes get posted over and over and over again.
It all started with this, a fairly innocent statement from ye, aka the artist formerly known as Kanye West, aka Kanye West, aka an idiot, professing that McDonald’s is his favourite restaurant.
Yet again proving their perpetual inferiority complex to their patty flipping rivals, Burger King responded, not once, but twice, to Ye’s favouritism.
https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/1059088750062428160
Enter, Burger King USA:
eyes still closed I guess https://t.co/Z8pzojmDgb
— Burger King (@BurgerKing) November 4, 2018
Which is referring back to another one of Kanye’s tweets, when he ‘retired from politics’ only a week ago:
https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/1057382916760707072
Whilst it was a decent effort in roasting the now perpetually roasted Yeezy, it was blown out of the water by Burger King UK’s effort, which was simple, brutal, and effective:
Explains a lot https://t.co/CalmlcD3eu
— Burger King (@BurgerKingUK) November 5, 2018
There’s nothing to restore your sense of national pride than being reminded of the fact that British people will forever be wittier, funnier and more acerbic than our cross-Atlantic brothers and sisters, even if it comes in the form of a fast-food chain’s social media intern on minimum wage destroying a rapper with almost 30 million followers.
So yes, yes it is news, because it is something that happened, even though nothing really did happen, except a few tweets, and a minor PR bump for Burger King that will do absolutely nothing to change the overall perception of their brand as completely inferior in every way to other burger joints.
But in a much more real, accurate sense, no, no it isn’t news, but it is mildly amusing and in these dark, intellectually decrepit times, that’s all we can really hope for.
Have a nice day. The earth will be absorbed by the sun in roughly 7.5 billion years. Don’t worry about a thing.
