A sex worker from Australia has highlighted the key difference between sleeping with men then women
Many of us look for some part-time work when we go to university, but more and more students are deciding to enter the world of sex work to help keep them stay afloat while they study.
Tilly Lawless is one of these people. When she was 19, Tilly moved to study history at the University of Sydney and took up part-time working behind the bar and did babysitting.
But by her second year Tilly was still struggling financially so she called an escort agency and was offered an interview.
She’s now spent the last nine years working as a private escort, in massage parlours, and brothels.
Speaking about her career to news.com.au,Tilly, who is gay, said she never had much trouble settling into sex work as sleeping with men was “easy” for her.
“That’s not to say that it’s not difficult for other people, that was just for me. I think that’s because I’m gay, too, so the first client I slept with was only the second man I’d slept with in my life, and it was actually just so easy. When you’ve been sleeping with mainly women, sleeping with men is a piece of cake,” Tilly said.
The Sydney-based sex worker says that having sex with a man was a “piece of cake” because men climax more easily than women.
“They come so much easier — you just have to put yourself in sexy positions. You actually don’t have to make much of an effort, so for me, I found it an anticlimax when I started sex work, because I was like, ‘Oh, lol, they come so easily’.”
Tilly added that the job has made her “far more celibate” in her private life, where she is “purely interested in sex with emotional connection.”
And she admits that whilst it can be fun, “most of the sex isn’t good sex”.
The only time that her career has been an issue in a personal relationship was apparently when she dated another sex worker, who would get jealous if “we were working the same shift and I was getting picked by more guys.”
Tilly has been very vocal on social media and in her public life about busting myths and misconceptions surrounding sex work and has released a novel about a sex worker, Nothing But My Body.
"The worst thing about rich clients is they’re always surprised when you’re smart, as if it’s shocking to have an articulate person doing physical labour."
Read an extract from @tilly_lawless' unflinching & lyrical debut #NothingButMyBody in @kyd_magazine:https://t.co/4STV06WYi6 pic.twitter.com/4vpzSQLpMa— Allen & Unwin (@AllenAndUnwin) August 24, 2021
Although parts of the book are based on her own experiences, Tilly’s keen to point out that the book is most certainly a novel and not a memoir.
She said: “I wanted the actual topics that the character is interrogating to be romantic love, and mental health, and queer community, and what it means to create a family and friendship and all that kind of stuff. I didn’t actually want sex work to be the problem topic.”
Another important theme of the book is that of friendship and how important this can be for members of the LGBTQ+ community, who often rely on their friends for support if their families struggle to accept them.
“I also know that a lot of queers are more critical of the kind of romantic love structure of like a partner that you’re with forever — and so I think when you become critical of those insular partnerships, like the nuclear family, you really start to celebrate and rely on friendship a lot more,” Tilly said.
“I think that friendship is one of the things that are long-lasting and we need to nurture, rather than a relationship with one person that you exclude everyone else from.”
Related links:
- British people have been named the most sex-obsessed people in the world
- Women share their harrowing experiences of sexual harassment at football games
- Durham University offers training and support to students in the sex industry
