This will make you want to shave off that beard, sever your top knot and throw those silly spectacles under a bus. Permanently.
You might want to sit down and grab yourself a cup of something strong to read this recent newspaper headline, because you’re going to need it.
If anything is more deplorably hispsterish than this sentence – and even the sentiment expressed in this sentence – then we want to see it.
It’s littered with hashtags, buzz words, neologisms and claims that we’re suddenly in a period in which it’s no longer cool to eat avocados. There’s so much wrong with it, we just had to share. Brace yourselves…
can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on pic.twitter.com/y5evq0NAlL
— Bumf (@bumf_online) October 10, 2015
The internet was clearly scrabbling around trying to find out what the hell any of this actually meant.
@bumf_online @argobagdr @guardian What the flaming hipster fuck did I just read?
— Essrayle F Herfollia (@Essrayle) October 10, 2015
@littleBilham @grown_ass_manx is this fash as in fashion or as in fascism? — lee colleton (@sleepylemur) October 10, 2015
@bumf_online @guardian I’m really more into avocado’s old stuff, you know before they went mainstream
— ø (@ATLJetLife) October 10, 2015
Are we all idiots because we don’t get it?
TO the HUNDREDS of ppl in my mentions complaining about millennials: maybe this is a ‘wealthy idiot’ thing rather than a ‘generation’ thing? — Bumf (@bumf_online) October 14, 2015
@bumf_online i feel like it is just an idiot thing.
— Julian Skeleon (@Philanthrop1st) October 14, 2015
Is this the end of the world as we know it?
@bumf_online @hodgman @guardian We seem to imploding on ourselves. — Chris Sullivan (@SullyActsUp) October 13, 2015
@hopdac @bumf_online @guardian #avocadolypse ?
— Helen Ayres (@Raphaelite_Girl) October 11, 2015
@bumf_online @crushingbort @guardian am I having a stroke? — gourd too death (@flangy) October 10, 2015
I just threw all my silverware in the garbage involuntarily. @bumf_online @LakeMistake @guardian
— Hithero (@absomni) October 10, 2015
Someone even did a dramatic reading, because hipsters…
@bumf_online @therealprotonk A dramatic reading might clear things up https://t.co/QrTGbQAiQf — Greg Smith (@_gsmith) October 11, 2015
Surely now after this absolute monstrosity we have reached Peak Hipster? Can the world not now move on? Can we all start drinking unpretentious coffee, ride regular bikes and listen to non-niche music without a banjo in it?
If not, we’re going to live in a cave. See you next summer.
