This is fucking badass.
Remember when you were a kid and tried to act all punk and emo as a sign of rebellion, but all you really did was wear black and hang around in bus stops a lot?
Well this woman from Portland, Oregon has put you to shame, because she got a literal live fucking snake caught in her ear gauge.
Yeah, get that, she had a real-life snake as an earring. There is nothing more metal than that.
Ashley Glawe was playing with her ball python snake Bart and said the reptile spied the hole in her earlobe, thinking it might be a fun place to hang out.
Turns out it wasn’t Bart’s smartest plan, because he got stuck halfway through, and Ashley had to go to the hospital to have him removed.
Don’t worry, he got out of there completely unharmed, but Ashley did require a small cut to be made on her ear, as well as some string and Vaseline to set her buddy free.
On her Facebook post, which has been shared more than 32,000 times, she wrote: “CURRENT SITUATION… I was holding my #SNAKE and his #DUMB ASS saw a hole, which just so happened to be my fuckin #EARLOBE, and thought that it would be a bright idea to #ATTEMPT to make it through…
“It all happened SO fast that before I even knew what was going on it was already too late… Now, #BelieveItOrNot I’m sitting here in the #EmergencyRoom with #BART #STUCK in my fucking #EAR #JustMyFuckinLuck #OhShit #SnakeStuckInEar #SnakeStuckInEarlobe #GaugedEars #SnakesLikeGaugedEars”
Sadly Bart was unavailable for interview about whether getting stuck in a human ear was worth the 23,000 likes the post got on Facebook, because he’s a snake and can’t talk, but to be honest, we’ve seen human beings do a lot stupider for far fewer internet points.
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