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15th Jan 2016

Woman calls police over “kebab assault”

Tom Victor

Of all the strange 999 calls we’ve heard about, this is right up there.

A woman in Manchester reportedly rang up the emergency services after being attacked with a kebab at a city centre venue.

The official phrasing used by Greater Manchester Police was “assault with a kebab” – we’re not sure whether that’s a technical term.

Predictably there were plenty of smart alecs on Twitter keen to chip in (pun not intended) with their best gags.

https://twitter.com/HatSteeds/status/687740917059551232

https://twitter.com/hsiutsang/status/687751239807938562

https://twitter.com/James_SPS/status/687740409251000320

It seems she was thirsty for justice, but that might have just been the chili sauce.