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28th Nov 2018

Woman jailed for ‘criminal damage’ to tube of Pringles

Kyle Picknell

Shocking, shocking scenes

A woman has been jailed for causing criminal damage to a €1.30 (£1.50) tube of Pringles in a Tesco in Cork.

According to BBC News, the eternal provider of all sorts of serious, day-to-day crises, and, well, this, the woman had been banned from entering the store previous to what must now surely be called ‘the Pringles incident’.

In a cunning plot to purchase a tube of Pringles from the store from which she was banned, rather than the numerous other places you can purchase crisps from in Cork, Kathleen McDonagh, aged 25, opened the pack of Pringles before paying for them.

Then, she believed, the staff in Tesco would force her to pay for the item she so desperately coveted before kicking her out of the shop.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case. Instead, she was sentenced to two months in prison.

Tragic.

Reports indicate that after being approached by security she *gasps* popped the Pringles and broke the foil seal. Which, as you know dear reader, is irreversible criminal damage.

An inspector told the court that she said: “I opened it so you have to let me pay for it”.

“It was not fit for resale with a loss of €1.50,” the officer told the judge, adding that although the woman wanted to buy the crisps, “she had no permission to be in the store” and was well known to staff members.

McDonagh’s legal representation asked for leniency from the court, explaining that she was recently married and several months pregnant, and had entered a guilty plea.

The judge, however, dismissed the fact she was recently married and several months pregnant to impose a four-month prison sentence with two months suspended.

He said the accused deliberately opened the Pringles despite being asked to leave by security and that it was difficult to see her actions as anything but “smart Alec behaviour”.

The Pringles incident in question took place nearly two years ago, on 27 December 2016, at the Mahon Point shopping centre in Cork, near McDonagh’s home in Inchera Close but the sentencing took place Wednesday.

What a world, what a world.