Who cares about pairing up the best fighters in the world when the UFC is just a business hell-bent on making as much money as quickly as possible?
Why did CM Punk get $500,000 to get submitted in one round by one of the most inexperienced guys on the UFC roster? Why is 46-year-old Dan Henderson getting a title shot when he’s not even ranked in the top 10? Why is the promotion’s highly-anticipated New York debut not being headlined by a fighter from the Big Apple?
The answer lies in the almighty dollar. While the UFC may have started as a way to find out who the toughest motherfuckers on the planet are, the most talented fighters aren’t necessarily the promotion’s biggest draws.
Sure enough, as a driver will rubber-neck to see the wreckage of a horrific car accident, people are transfixed by catastrophe and the prospect of destruction.
So if the world’s largest MMA promotion wants money-making circus fights, we have five PPV-shattering match-ups that would almost certainly see the UFC bank a serious amount of cheddar.
Khabib Nurmagomedov vs A Bear
We’ve seen the clips, we’ve heard the tales, but what could the Dagestani phenom do against a fully-grown grizzly when that cage door is shut and there’s no on there to rein the bear in if he got out of control? Of course, the referee would probably be expected to rein the bear in it the contest became too one-sided… but still.
Joe Rogan vs Dana White
White famously challenged Tito Ortiz to a boxing match back in the dickities and Rogan’s spinning back-kick is like something out of a movie. Stylistically, this fight would… well, it probably wouldn’t be that great, but it would be a match made in PPV heaven.
George St-Pierre vs E.T. the Extra-terrestrialÂ
GSP believes in aliens. He’s openly talked about it before and has even hinted that he may have been abducted at one stage.
What better way to prove to the world that extra-terrestrials exist than fighting a live critter inside the Octagon for the the entire world to see? Plus if you had to introduce a martian to MMA, you may as well pick arguably the greatest of all time to show them the ropes.
Go humans!
CM Punk vs A Butterfly
Which would you rather see? Phil Brooks taking on Mike Jackson, a professional photographer with a 0-1 professional record or Phil Brooks getting a match-up he might actually win, such as one against a small, winged insect?
Conor McGregor vs Conor McGregor
All we have to do is wait until they have perfected cloning and we’re laughing all the way to the bank.
It’s basic maths – if one McGregor can draw a gazillion PPV buys, then two McGregors can sell double that. The numbers don’t lie, plus think of the incredible trash talking exchanges.
“Who the fuck is this me?”
‘I’ll do nothing! I’ll do nothing.’
Car crash stuff, but you couldn’t possibly look away.
