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09th Sep 2016

Everyone’s making the same bondage joke about Alan Shearer’s statue – including Gary Lineker

Blimey...

JOE

What a fitting tribute…well it will be eventually.

Alan Shearer is one of Newcastle’s finest sons. Heralding from Gosforth to the north of the city centre, few have so completely symbolised Newcastle United in the modern era quite like the 46-year-old.

Perhaps the biggest surprise about the club honouring him with a statue is that he doesn’t have one already. Shearer joined in 1996 for a then record breaking £15m, going on to score 206 goals in 10 years, before becoming manager in 2009.

A £250,000 brass statue was paid for by the family of former chairman Freddy Shepherd and will be unveiled on Monday. It is already in place outside St. James’ Park, and there’s no prizes for guessing what pose the erection is making…

The thing is, so tightly is the statue wrapped in its blue covering that many are making the same gag…with gag being a rather pertinent word. For many, the figure in its current form looks like a ‘sex gimp’ dressed for some BDSM action.

That’s right, a fair number of jokers out there are comparing the giant tribute to a leather-clad bondage enthusiast – including Shearer’s BBC colleague Gary Lineker. Of course we’re so innocent that we’re not quite sure what it all means…

https://twitter.com/SarcyFringehead/status/774270324082958337

In case you’re wondering what the unveiled version looks like…