How the actual f*ck has Paolo Maldini got better looking with age?

What a man.

Wednesday marks the 31st anniversary of Paolo Maldini’s professional debut for AC Milan vs Udinese in 1985. In a glittering career that was laden with team and personal honours, the Milanese legend cemented his place in footballing history as one of the greatest players ever.

It is also hard to ignore the fact that Maldini made the game sexy. A ridiculously good-looking presence on the field of play for 24 years, the muscular and elegant defender was a magnet for swooning admirers. Talented, rich and handsome – the jammy swine.

Still, at least he’d eventually lose his good looks with age. Expect he didn’t/hasn’t. Now approaching his 50th year, the Italian Wes Brown actually seems to be getting better looking as he gets older. Like a George Clooney or Brad Pitt. Here we chart the timeline of a handsome devil…

A young Paolo Maldini at AC Milan Academy, circa 1980. pic.twitter.com/0LhZgHg3iP

— TotalFutbal (@eTotalFutbal) July 23, 2015

Age: 12

A very young Paolo sups a brew whilst training with the Milan youth team.

Look: n/a. Bit Yew Tree to comment.

https://twitter.com/Footbal_Mania/status/434833990202060800

Age: 15

Looking as proud as punch in his shiny polyester kit.

Look: n/a. Still a bit Yew Tree.

Sampean uda lahir lek?"@toelmaldini: Hari ini 28 tahun yg lalu gol perdana maldini ke gawang como, 4/1/1987 pic.twitter.com/0m7EVrGhkL"

— Ranudya yahya (@ed_hunterrr) January 4, 2015

Age: 16

Ignore the description, he’s 16 in that photo and ready for his professional debut.

Look: n/a. Borderline Yew Tree.

https://twitter.com/DatedFootball/status/618810793983873024

Age: 18

No it’s not an elaborate away kit, this is Paolo during his national service.

Look: Armani army man. A particularly handsome extra on the set of M*A*S*H.

Le figurine del Guerino. Paolo Maldini, stagione 1989-1990 pic.twitter.com/fGdFRYmMqu

— Guerin Sportivo (@GuerinSportivo) October 25, 2015

Age: 21

Now firmly established in the first-team. Drop the boy, drop the boy – he’s now definitely a man.

Look: Intense and rugged. Perfecting his Blue Steel look.

https://twitter.com/FootballWeb_es/status/552487654152216577

Age: 23

Posing alongside San Siro teammate and perennial old man Carlo Ancelotti.

Look: Smart and tidy. The kind of young man you’d be happy for your daughter – or son – to bring home.

https://twitter.com/ACMilanPics/status/644197810984873984

Age: 26

Winning the big one with Fabio Capello in what was a fantastic Milan side.

Look: He’s blooming, as the Daily Mail would say about an inappropriately young girl.

https://twitter.com/TYORivera/status/626109359425105920

Age: 27

A champion in every respect. Widely acknowledged as the best full-back in the world.

Look: He’s fit and he bloody well knows it. Classic kit that too. Very nice.

Paolo Maldini France 98 pic.twitter.com/VYFzaRFbt7

— VintageFooty (@VintageFooty) July 6, 2015

Age: 30

Off to France 98 with the Azzurri. They’d get knocked out in the quarters by the hosts and eventual winners.

Look: He’s in the prime of his life. It doesn’t get better than this, surely.

Age: 32

Into his thirties now and showing no signs of waning as a supreme footballer.

Look: Still ridiculously handsome, but you can tell he’s worried. It’s all downhill from here.

Age: 35

Mid-thirties and he becomes his nation’s most capped player ever. Not bad at all.

Look: F*ck. It’s not downhill at all. He’s simply morphed from pretty boy to brooding hunk.

Age: 39

In the very winter of his player career, and approaching his 900th appearance for Milan.

Look: He’s gone full Banderas. You expect him to kill a man using a fully-loaded guitar case.

Age: 42

Now retired from the game he loves, Paolo can spend more time with his young family.

Look: Forget what I said before, now he’s in the prime of his life. Age will catch up on him now…

Age: 44

Mid-forties and basking in his god-like status as a legend of the game.

Look: Okay so age hasn’t caught up on him yet, but that stubble is greyer and the hair’s a bit 90s.

Age: 45

Still showing he’s got it with a round of very impressive testimonial performances.

Look: What the f*ck?! He’s gone and got himself a haircut and now looks like a super-handsome Roy Keane.

Age: 47

An elder-statesman of the game, Paolo becomes part-owner of Miami FC.

Look: FFS, you stupidly handsome and getting handsomer hammer-legend.