Let he who has not checked the pungency of their own prune juice cast the first stone.
At the beginning of the European Championships, it is unlikely that World Cup winning Germany coach Joachim Low would have guessed that he’d be addressing concerns about where he places his fingers and how publicly he sniffs them.
Alas, none of us could have predicted the fallout from his testy scratch ‘n’ sniff on the touchline against Ukraine on Sunday. His digital deviation very near broke the internet, and took some of the shine away from an impressive 2-0 win.
https://twitter.com/ynfa_thehub/status/742096455872184321?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
Bollock-fondling Joachim has very quickly learnt that the old saying is true: if you live by the penis, you die by the penis. Even if his charges now go on to win the Euros, his reputation will remain as stained as his fingertips. Low is now defined by the funk of his trunk.
Perhaps due to concerns that his man shaft was distracting from Die Mannschaft, Low has come out and apologised for groping his grapes and relishing the aroma in such a self-congratulatory way. He is quite clearly sorry for the gonad grope.
“I saw the pictures as well and obviously sometimes you do things subconsciously. It happened and I am sorry,” admitted Low. “It was adrenaline and concentration. I will try to behave differently in the future.”
You’re going to have to do better than ‘try’ mate. No one wants a scrotal recall any time soon.
