After a whole bunch of speculization, Louis Van Gogh finally got his ass fired by the Manchester Unity after coaching them soccer for two years.
Hired after coaching soccer to the Neverlands Soccer Club in the World Cup World Championships in 2014, he sucked at his job in the EPL League, even though he won a soccer cup last weekend.
With Westside Hammers kicking the Unity’s sorry devil asses at soccer during the last game at the Uptown Park Bowling Ground the other week, Louis Van Gogh’s guys missed out on the EPL Awesome Foursome.
This made Saint Alex Ferguson and Bobby Charleston real mad and they told some other guy to go fire him real quick.
Van Gogh replaced fellow-lameass soccer coach, Coach Moyles at the Unity, even though many expected them to move for a way better soccer coach like Bruce Arena.
Like Moyles, he also failed to go get the right soccer players to make the Unity franchise real good again. Instead of go getting neat players like Clint Dempsey, he just signed Dutch guys. Daily Blind – a guy that sounds like some kinda Braille newspaper – and Memphis the Pie joined up with the Unity but were pretty lame.
Last summer, Van Gogh screwed up goaltender Richard De Gere’s move to Real Salt Lake’s EPL Spain franchise, meaning the Unity missed out on bringing Tim Howard back to the Old Trafford Center.
This made the Unity fans madder than a mom raccoon that just watched her racoon babies get hit by some guy in a truck.
Although he’s one of the winningest soccer coaches in the history of Manchester Unity’s history, the soccer coached by Van Gogh has been as exciting as watching your mom and dad make out.
He might have the same name as some awesome French painter guy, but Louis Van Gogh’s Man Unity masterpiece looks no better than the inside of some kid’s diaper.
