Think about this for a moment: Paul Merson is employed by Sky Sports to talk about football.
That is his job.
He is well paid to describe to us the viewers of Soccer Saturday what is happening on the match we can’t see.
If that was your job, you might think it prudent to do some research each week as to the players who will be plying their trade in the match you are watching.
It would prevent you from looking like a wally when Jeff throws to you to give us the latest developments from the game.
But it seems that Merse has a different approach – something we’re terming the ‘Joe Kinnear school of foreign player pronunciation’. It consists of hearing the name of the overseas player, then approximating it to the nearest word you already know, and just hoping for the best.
Exhibit A: Kinnear’s memorable description of former Newcastle midfielder Yogan Cabaye as “Yohan Kebab”, and, even better, when he turned Charles N’Zogbia into “Charles Insomnia”.
And now Merse – never famed for his elocution anyway – has got in on Kinnear’s act again.
Paul Merson won't be out done… (via @Chris_J4mes ) pic.twitter.com/3ltJONXaEs
— Paddy Power (@paddypower) October 22, 2016
And lo, Leicester City’s Islam Slimani becomes “Salami”. Cue predictable jokes from Charlie Nicholas and Jeff Stelling about him “slicing” the ball.
Still, it’s Merse isn’t it? And you can’t stay mad at Merse.
You can catch up on the latest episode of JOE’s Football Friday Live right here…
