I feel like I’ve fallen into a sleep during pre-season.
Euro 2016 happened, and it was great. Brexit happened… bit messy, really, great for some people, not so great for others.
Then… nothingness. Four weeks without football.
Life has been a pit of absolute fucking despair, so I’ve had to concentrate on other things like exercising on the weekends, speaking to my friends and family, and looking into whether or not I should get a pension (turns out I had one already but nobody told me).
In this void of joy that is commonly known as pre-season, Jurgen Klopp seems to have a doppelganger following him around.
"Don't take the piss, mate." pic.twitter.com/nsmZe2ALaZ
— MUNDIAL (@MundialMag) August 12, 2016
Is this normal now? Has this always been the case?
Let’s face it, since Jurgen Klopp – the great manager who deserves nothing but respect – joined Liverpool, Liverpool have turned into a weird parody of a club, desperately trying to reconnect with a fanbase fairly pissed off at unaffordable ticket prices and some pretty piss poor communications from the club to the fans.
The result?
Liverpool FC: “Here’s a video of Sakho doing some mad banter.”
Fans: “Guys, we haven’t won anything in a…”
Liverpool FC: “LOOK AT KLOPP’S FACE THOUGH. LOOK AT HIS SMILE! IT’S MAD ISN’T IT! HAHAHA.”
I don’t know if I can go through a whole season of this without my cold, cynical, black heart doing me a solid favour and putting me out of my misery.
Apparently the guy is Andreas Kornmayer, Liverpool’s fitness coach. I really do feel like they’ve just hired him because he looks like Jurgen Klopp.
I’m so done with football.
The season hasn’t even started yet, but I am so done with football.