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24th Oct 2016

The stats from Manchester United and Chelsea that should shut everyone up about stats

Why United actually won against Chelsea...

Conan Doherty

“There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics…”

Stats are interesting but it’s their application that’s important. More often than not though, that application isn’t bothered with.

People throw out numbers after games and it’s almost as if they prove a point with them alone without the need for an explanation. They’d give you a possession statistic as if it was case closed. They don’t ask why those numbers read like they do or how they’ve ended up like that.

Telling someone Leicester only averaged 40 per cent possession last year or whatever it was means absolutely nothing.

In the context of them winning the league and having an inferior goal difference to only one team, it tells you a whole lot more. It actually means something then.

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Nowadays though, stats are bandied about as if they have any real correlation with the result. Shots from God knows where, possession however pointlessly, and bloody corners are tallied up to mean something more than just the numbers they are.

It’s akin to beating your mate in a game of FIFA and he pauses the screen to go in and have a look at the statistics as if he’s proving to himself, to you, and whoever’s watching on that he’s getting screwed over. As if anyone actually cares.

Jose Mourinho was criticised from pillar to post last Monday night for masterminding Manchester United’s lowest ever possession tally since the inception of Opta. They went to Anfield and spoiled Liverpool, reduced them to a wonder Coutinho shot and one big chance for Emre Can but, although the hosts didn’t get the result, they used 35 per cent as the stick to beat United fans with.

That stick wouldn’t be allowed to emerge again. No f**king chance. The Red Devils went to Chelsea a different team. They went to Chelsea on Sunday evening and they bloody destroyed them.

STATS

More possession, more shots, more corners, more fouls.

Jose Mourinho’s men bossed the ball, they dominated in attack, they controlled the set-piece battle and obviously they played with more aggression and intensity.

They did everything they could’ve done at Stamford Bridge. They played the United way.

Sure, okay, they lost 4-0 in the end but Chelsea were the ones who went away embarrassed looking at those possession stats.

But maybe, just maybe, those type of statistics don’t actually mean much in isolation. Maybe they might not have any real correlation with the result.

Maybe.

You can still use them to get one over on your mate playing FIFA though. Only when you’re losing of course.

You can catch up on the latest episode of JOE’s Football Friday Live right here…