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08th Oct 2016

Wayne Rooney got nutmegged against Malta because he cares about comedy

Just another day in the life.

Tom Victor

In case you hadn’t heard, England are BACK.

Daniel Sturridge scored the first goal of the Southgate era, heading the Three Lions in front against the might of Malta, and Dele Alli fired home a second quicker than you can say ’67 days’.

Sure, there will be some nay-sayers, saying anyone can look good against Malta.

To those people we say “were you not watching Wayne Rooney’s performance?”

Not content with giving the ball away twice in the opening few minutes, the England captain (!) contrived to get nutmegged by a Maltese opponent.

Now, we wouldn’t go as far as saying being nutmegged by a Maltese international is on a level with being nutmegged by a child. That would be doing a disservice to Pietro Ghedin’s team.

It’s more like getting nutmegged by a labrador, or a small camel.

Some have said Rooney shouldn’t even have been on the pitch to be nutmegged, having been guilty of…let’s call it an agricultural tackle earlier in the game.

Thankfully, Rooney’s skill and leadership haven’t gone unnoticed by the match-viewing public.

Still, it’s not like Rooney’s underwhelming performance has been to the detriment of any of England’s other players.

https://twitter.com/tomEurosport/status/784790444483964929

Sure, Rooney has scored dozens of goals for his country, but so has Gary Lineker. Lineker’s probably more mobile too, and definitely less likely to get himself sent off.

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