A football fan who has claimed all summer that this will be his year is today on the verge of quitting fantasy football after scoring just 13 points in game one of the Premier League.
Liverpool supporter Fergal Campbell is reportedly assessing all possible options after weeks of meticulous research and analysis resulted in him collecting one of the lowest points totals out of more than 4 million players.
The 29-year-old accountant is said to have spent close to 200 hours reading articles, watching old match footage through the summer with the intention of bettering last season’s finish of 3,989,783rd.
However, after a weekend during which just seven of his squad started and not one either won or scored, Campbell has been left questioning whether the time has come for him to give up on his ambition of ever breaking the top 2 million.
“I’ve made a tit of myself”
Speaking to reporters outside his home this afternoon, Campbell admitted that he has no idea where he went wrong with his selection considering how much time he committed to it.
“I’m perplexed. Every night for the few weeks leading up to the season I worked on this. Drawing up charts and graphs, comparison tables to judge who would be a better choice. I cancelled family gatherings and parties for this. I was certain I’d finally cracked the code, and all for nothing,” he said in an emotional interview.
“Everyone always said I was shite at fantasy football, but I figured that it was just because I only played it casually. But they were all right. I’m useless.”
More saddening than the shame of failing however, Campbell claims, is the enormous personal embarrassment he feels after months of insisting to friends that he would wipe the floor with them this season.
“I was so cocky. So, so cocky. Every time I saw them I was really brash, saying that they had no chance and taking the piss out of them for picking certain players. Now everyone of them has battered me, I’ve made a tit of myself,” he added.
At press time, Campbell also confessed that he is torn over whether to tell his wife about the £400 he has spent entering various money leagues with friends and colleagues, or simply flee the country.
