If my boss is reading this, I definitely do not text during work hours.
Spade a spade, work is a lot to take in at the best of times. As Aristotle once said, ‘Work would be fine if it wasn’t for all the dickheads you have to deal with’, and I’m inclined to agree with him. The worst part about any given situation is the addition of other people.
One of the best ways to handle the everyday annoyances of work is to bitch about your colleagues with other colleagues. Nobody trusts their work email or Slack for bitching about co-workers, so we’ve no choice but to resort to the peasantry means of iMessage. If that’s what it takes for a reasonably secure connection in the year of our Lord 2018, then so be it.
Here’s 12 incriminating texts we’re all guilty of sending our work BFF during business hours.
1. Fact: Coffee breath kills more people each year than sharks do
2. Every office has a Sam. If you don’t, I’m sorry to report that it’s probably you
3. The only Boss we should respect is Bruce Frederick Joseph Springsteen
4. Have you been injured by stationery at work? You may be entitled to comPENsation 😉
5. Hate your workplace? Try Alcohol™
6. It doesn’t count as spilling a secret when it’s your work BFF. That’s an ironclad fact
7. It’s 15 years before the first parole hearing, FYI
8. Nothing in this world comes close to the satisfaction of knowing that you’re being paid to poop
9. Dewey Decimal are interested, pending further research
10. FACT: Work hangovers are 75% more severe than home hangovers
11. There should really be a module at school that covers the necessity of sending an all-staff email
12. 1 in 12 adults suffer from (LBS) Little Bitch Syndrome. You’re not alone. Help is widely available.
