You’re a hero if you sat through that drivel.
Before England’s World Cup qualifier against Scotland back in June, Gareth Southgate took his team on a two-day retreat with Royal Marines. The England team were put through a series of activities by the marines, and experienced what it was like to be a soldier in the field.
““These guys represent Queen and country, and we do the same,” the England manager said.
“But the consequences of failure for the Royal Marines are far higher. That gives us a good context and comparison.”
https://twitter.com/SportsJOE_UK/status/903710839286505472
Southgate’s decision wasn’t really questioned at the time, but just take a second and think about it. A national team manager, who has very limited time with his players, opts not to work on tactics, on a plan to nullify the opposition or on developing a pattern of play. Instead, he uses valuable time to bring his team on a corporate retreat.
England will lose in the knockout rounds to the first decent team that can keep the ball at the World Cup next summer. But this was the moment when any illusion that they can somehow be contenders for the tournament was completely shattered.
Southgate’s reign is also destined to end in failure. You can almost see the tabloid headlines already. He seems like a decent guy, but if there was a managerial vacancy in the Championship, he wouldn’t be in the running.
This is also grade A, premium bullshit:
“We wanted to come and put the guys into a different environment, something they weren’t expecting,” Southgate said about his decision to bring his team on a retreat with the marines.
“The Marines talk about a dislocated expectation, and that was part of the theme of the camp – how will we be adaptable in moments of difficulty for us as a team? There were some team objectives around pushing themselves beyond where they thought they could go and knowing you don’t want to let any of your team-mates down.”
Unfortunately, there was no activity on the course that taught players how to pass the ball accurately.
Southgate didn’t bring his team go-karting or for a game of paintball on this international break, but if he had it might have explained a few things.
England were dreadful against Malta in their World Cup qualifier on Friday night. Players who cost the best part of £50m couldn’t find each other with passes, and they struggled to break down a team featuring part-timers. In a turgid first-half, Southgate’s side couldn’t score against the team ranked 190th in the world.
They eventually found the net in the second-half through Harry Kane, Ryan Bertrand and Danny Welbeck, and won the game 4-0, but it was an awful performance for most of the game.
The game ws an example of why many football fans dread international breaks.
The travelling England fans let the team know what they thought of the display, as did social media.
Less than 24 hours after the transfer window shut, worth remembering the prices these England players are supposedly worth..#MaltaEng
— Simon Johnson (@SJohnsonSport) September 1, 2017
https://twitter.com/HarryMorton16/status/903711929025388546
Quite rare for the England fans to turn on the team
— Matt Law (@Matt_Law_DT) September 1, 2017
I've got to say, this England game has really got me on the edge of my seat. It has everything. What a match so far.
— Boring Milner (@BoringMilner) September 1, 2017
England are crap, so boring to watch & Henderson is a terrible passer of the ball, nowhere near good enough to try & dictate play from deep.
— NotFarRightJustRight (@iMissScholes18) September 1, 2017
😴 This is almost making me nostalgic for Hodgson's England. Really want Southgate to succeed, but performances so far have been really lame
— Oliver Kay (@OliverKay) September 1, 2017
watching England is like…..well watching England. #dull
— simonrimmer (@simonrim) September 1, 2017
This is absolute dross. #maleng #malengering.
— John Brewin (@JohnBrewin_) September 1, 2017
https://twitter.com/DierSituation/status/903702539761311744
The way England play is terrible.. no style, nothing! There all over the place, it's like they don't know each other 🙈
— Bal (@OfficialDixon34) September 1, 2017
This is arguably the worst England midfield I've seen in my lifetime, sterlings touch, Henderson and Livingston passes and oxs crosses awful
— MJDtangerinearmy (@wondermanduke) September 1, 2017
England booed off the Maltese pitch at half-time, moments after Oxlade-Chamberlain given an ovation for 'something good'. 0-0
— Miguel Delaney (@MiguelDelaney) September 1, 2017
https://twitter.com/HytheBarry/status/903702399579238400
