Week 10 – Fashion Show.
We’re nearly there. The finale is so close, you can practically smell it.
You can also smell the desperation off these candidates that are all willing and able to kill for a chance at winning the £250k investment prize money.
This week’s episode was the usual abundance of cringe we’ve come to expect from The Apprentice.
Here’s nine moments that were so cringe, four viewers reportedly died from the effects of second hand embarrassment.
1. Elizabeth was still asleep when she answered Lord Sugar’s call
Credit where it’s due, Elizabeth is the only candidate on this year’s show that has given us an accurate depiction of what a 5am wake up call looks like. Much to my personal delight, it was Elizabeth’s turn to answer the phone this week, which she did with her usual distaste for everything. She thundered down the stairs with her eyes 90% closed, fumbled around for the phone and then produced a croaky sleep voice to address the caller. Was she even awake or were we looking at some incredibly lucid sleepwalking? We may never truly know.
2. Joanna told James, who has been wearing a suit for ten weeks, that he has great style
Project manager Joanna was divvying up the roles for her team when she announced that James would join her in meeting the fashion designers because “you are the male of the group and also you’ve got great style”. To put this in context, James is a man. He has worn a suit for ten weeks, along with a rotation of shirts and ties. On last night’s episode, he also added a pair of glasses to his look, probably because he now feels comfortable enough to wear them since Charles, Andrew and every other glasses wearer’s departure.
3. This was one of the designs that was shown to the teams
Fashion is confusing, that’s pretty much universally acknowledged at this stage. But what in the name of all that is sacred is happening here? These people are business hopefuls. All they want is £250k and a golden handshake from Lord Sugar. Their fragile little minds can not and will not ever be able to make sense of the intricacies that make up the fashion industry. Exposing them to such bold looks as the one pictured above is like trying to explain algebra to a newborn hamster.
4. A dancer accosted Harrison and he enjoyed every minute of it
Sarah and Harrison were auditioning performers for their fashion show when a brazen dancer decided to introduce herself in a very risqué manner. She intensely announced “I’m a dancer”, before using Harrison for balance so she could kick one leg impressively high into the air whilst bending backwards. She then flicked her hair in his face and lowkey assaulted him all in the name of good clean fun. Harrison was beaming because all attention is good attention in his book.
5. Michaela and Elizabeth drooled over some male models
Elizabeth, ever the professional, informed us that she would be putting on her glasses for this part, then greeted the male models with a troubling “Hi boys” and a deeply disturbing grin. Elizabeth then instructed the models to walk up through the room, then turn and walk back. As they were doing so, she offered up such encouragement as “Work it. Work it. Work every bit”, meanwhile Michaela inquired as to whether the models had six packs or not.
6. Elizabeth unnecessarily took the models’ inner leg measurements
Given that these are professional models, it’s likely that they’re fully aware of their measurements, given that it’s a daily requirement to know such information in order to complete their line of work. It seemed unnecessary for Elizabeth to take to each model’s inner thigh with a measuring tape, but such is the kind of lunacy we’ve come to expect from Elizabeth McKenna on this series of The Apprentice.Â
7. James got curtains, LOL
James, who Joanna has assured us is very fashionable, was forced to take part in the photo shoot, with very little persuasion necessary. Joanna, whom is a savage, then advised the hairdresser to give him curtains because they’re allegedly extremely on trend at the moment. She wanted James to look good for the photo shoot, but not so good that Lord Sugar would fall in love with him and choose him to be the recipient of £250k, because that is apparently hers.
8. They sent James down the catwalk despite having no modelling experience whatsoever
…and it showed. The geezer sauntered his way down the catwalk with his head buried in his chest out of sheer embarrassment at debuting a curtain haircut. He didn’t know how to walk properly, nor the correct way to display the clothes. Obviously, this played out beautifully on the telly so from that perspective, Joanna’s really treated us with her decisions in this week’s episode. If the whole Apprentice thing doesn’t work out, she should be a TV producer.
9. Joanna had absolutely no interest in her indoor skydiving prize
She worked hard at winning the task and seemed deeply disinterested in the reward, which was indoor skydiving. Understandably, she probably assumed that ‘indoor skydiving’ was a funny way of saying that they were going to jump up and down for an hour, but it transpired that it’s actual a very real thing that requires jumpsuits, helmets and even goggles. Joanna didn’t come that close to murdering Elizabeth to win a measly day of indoor skydiving. Nothing short of £250k is ever going to please her. Nor should it.
Images via BBC
