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30th Dec 2017

Reporter’s response to Jose Mourinho’s latest whinge sums up this whole mess perfectly

Talk about bare bones, stuck with Martial and Rashford

Conan Doherty

Jose Mourinho is really lucky that Manchester United are desperate.

That’s why he’s defended so aggressively in the face of substandard performances. That’s why, when he spends 300 million and demands more, he still has sympathisers. United simply need this one to work and Mourinho is just the wrong man benefitting from being there at the right time.

It’s almost Trump-esque, how he’s formed this cult to follow him. He doesn’t care that he’s polarising the population, he’s just looking for enough backers and he’s found them. The critics have increased but the defence is more vocal and relentless than ever too.

So now you have actual United fans counting up how much he’s spent and comparing it to Guardiola. Not one of them seems in the least bit bothered by the fact the manager basically admitted his coaching and managing counts for fuck all when he said he doesn’t have enough money.

You have people pointing to the idea that City had a better side to start with and no-one cares by just how much wider that gap has gotten since Guardiola took over at the exact same time.

Some are even talking about Ferguson being pragmatic – it was always this way, that sort of insulting bullshit. Even when Fergie was pragmatic during those rare European games against some of the best sides of all time, there was method to it. There’s no method to what Mourinho is doing other than question players’ character and mentality, put tall lads on the field, set up defensively and, when it doesn’t work out, he has another group of supporters ready to throw the team under the bus anyway.

What’s poor Mourinho to do with this crop, like?

It’s not like United have a better back five than City or that Guardiola would make world-beaters of Rashford and Martial. It’s not like they’ve slipped to third in the league on course for below 80 points again – just like last year when they finished sixth.

Fans are running out of ways to defend Mourinho and it’s mind-boggling that they’d want to do that anyway. Complaining about how much money he’s spent would be grounds for sacking in any other environment that isn’t desperate to avoid being known as a sacking club because of the audacity, the lack of accountability and the bare-faced cheek of it all. Now, complaining about injuries is just about pathetic.

Romelu Lukaku got brought off – for the first time this season – during the goalless draw with Southampton. Mourinho was only too delighted to revel in another bad luck story as he broke the news that Zlatan Ibrahimovic is also injured.

The reporter? He played along.

If Lukaku and Ibra are out, you see, that only leaves United with Martial and Rashford.

Talk about bare bones, stuck with Martial and Rashford.

If United fans thought it would get better than the two wins in the last seven, they might not have realised that they only have Martial and Rashford left to fill that lone front man role.

But he’ll carry on doing what he’s doing, moaning about what he wants to moan about and he’ll get more money too.

Liverpool are just one win behind them and, at this rate, United will be hanging onto fourth, before they’re resting players for Europe again.

Last seven results

  • United 1-2 Man City
  • United 1-0 Bournemouth
  • West Brom 1-2 United
  • Bristol City 2-1 United
  • Leicester 2-2 United
  • United 2-2 Burnley
  • United 0-0 Southampton

Last season, Mourinho told the world that he won three trophies and his fans said that those pieces of silverware and the 69 league points represented improvement.

This season, the man who wins the league in his second campaign is saying the 300 million invested in seven players so far is not enough and he has people supporting his cause, blindly accepting that the squad isn’t good enough.

The majority is getting fed up with the comparisons of Guardiola and maybe we all should because, whilst Pep is undoubtedly one of the world’s best managers, it’s not a necessary comparison. All he has really done differently to Mourinho is figured out a way to win games with what is at his disposal. That’s something Mourinho seems incapable of doing and yet there are so many other coaches well able for it, especially with the team and depth and resources at the disposal of whoever’s lucky enough to be in charge at Old Trafford.

And, still, they accept this apathy because “there’s no-one out there”.

Christ almighty, it has to be better than this. Why are United fans accepting it?