As Arsenal close in on the £16 million defender, everyone is starting to get concerned for one man in particularly.
Poor Merse, he can barely struggle through names like “Islam Salami” and “Sacary Bagna”, let alone Sokratis Papastathopoulos, otherwise known as ctrl + v, the man Arsenal are reportedly close to signing from Borussia Dortmund.
As per @JackPittBrooke Arsenal close to signing Sokratis Papastathopoulos from Dortmund. Latest acquisition led by Sven Mislintat, continues drive to rebuild defence/squad with experience/leadership. #AFC prioritising ready players & will integrate youth (eg Mavropanos) over time
— David Ornstein (@David_Ornstein) May 28, 2018
As you can see, his name is actually quite a mouthful, and only now having typed it out several times am I confident I’d be able to say it aloud without stuttering through it like a boiling forkful of alphabet spaghetti.
The central defender does only wear ‘Sokratis’ on the back of his shirt but even that Merson might struggle with, given his extensive history of chopping up even the most basic of names into a mental concoction of syllables as though he’s only just learning how to speak.
As if it needed saying, Twitter has gone to town on him already:
https://twitter.com/Weener14/status/1001095526731997184
https://twitter.com/mikesanz19/status/1001114305125863424
Can’t wait til the first Arsenal game of the season that Paul Merson is covering https://t.co/9OS9Aq3jKe
— James (@_J1916) May 28, 2018
Look forward to Paul Merson pronouncing that on soccer Saturday.
— Richard Fowell (@RichardFowell_) May 28, 2018
Paul Merson 2018/2019 season: I think Unayaib Emersys tactics was perfect, Popustapoopanos through ball to Mkhitrigan was sublime, when they also later found Aubarangang through the middle he was able to assist Kolacanac in beautiful fashion. pic.twitter.com/Rs9RrIhfNV
— ArsenalCreator (@ArsenalCreator1) May 28, 2018
I can already hear Paul Merson panicking. https://t.co/YiKXjsmIEC
— Daniel (@DanSenior97) May 28, 2018
As always an extremely obvious joke but also extremely effective. Poor Merse. Poor, poor Maul Person.
