HOT. It’s HOT. I haven’t slept at all because it’s so HOT.
There has never been a more disgusting time to be alive. From the moment I wake up, which these days is about 5 am, thanks to my new flat’s easterly-facing bedroom windows, I am bathed in sweat and malaise. Showering is a near-pointless endeavour; as soon as I step out and towel off, I’m drenched again.
The only saving grace is when I step outside, take a deep breath and inhale the feted stench of street garbage bubbling in the hot morning sun, and I think to myself, “When will this accursed season end, and how can I help it die?” Still, sangria is nice.
Round One is Girl Groups. We did Boy Bands back in Week 66, so it’s only fair that we redress the balance. Round Two is Sport, but when isn’t it Sport? Since the time of gods and kings, Round Two has always been Sport, and so shall it be for all time.
Round Three is Game of Thrones, because I’ve just caught up with the rest of the civilised world and watched all of it. I’m not sure what else to do with my time now. Maybe I’ll join a cult. The Picture Round is Missing Colours, and finally General Knowledge invites you to dine at the world buffet of pointless knowledge.
Bring me an ice cream.
