Oh, modern football, you wonderful weird entity
Modern football has given us a lot of good things: round-the-clock access to world class matches, very good computer games, Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Fortnite celebrations and endless sources of anger for people who pine for the olden days.
But the olden days are gone Dad and they’re never coming back. Despite this, there are some bad things about modern football. The 24-hour news cycle now means that every fart emitted from Paul Pogba now warrants a think piece, while the price of tickets has gone up exponentially despite top English clubs posting almost universally record revenue.
The worst of all though has taken place at Stamford Bridge, where Chelsea have decided to desecrate the walls of the club’s tunnel with tweets from supporters encouraging their players.
As one might suspect, the use of the word “encouraging” means that tweets from @HazardologyEffect referring to Tiemou Bakayoko as a “nonce” were not included.
Instead, the club have used the blandest, most milquetoast tweets from fans, including such classics as:
“Azpilicueta is phenomenal.”
and
“Well done Pedro. You are a magician and you never give up.”
Try not to burn yourself on those searing hot takes.
On today’s episode of ‘the worst fucking things ever to happen in football’, Chelsea have got motivational tweets from their fans on the walls in the tunnel. pic.twitter.com/7VB1hoMPh3
— Tom Todhunter (@tdhntr) August 11, 2018
