Hello, it’s me again. Your official Valentine’s Day correspondent
Huge news. Huge, huge news. Wetherspoons, the sticky floored colosseum of pints and fruit machines, is bringing back its Valentine’s Day menu for couples looking to eat out on a budget this February.
The chain is offering the bargain deal of £20 for a full meal for two. That means two mains, two desserts and most importantly, two drinks. Even better, the Spoons 8oz steak is available in the offer should you want the most bang more for your buck.
Also on offer, should that hefty slab of meat not look appetising enough for you, you SNOB, are the BBQ ribs, the mixed grill, or the Mediterranean vegetable lasagne.
For dessert you can get the warm cookie dough sandwich with ice cream and a chocolate brownie, too. Which, presumably, you must eat simultaneously like the Lady and the Tramp spaghetti scene for the full, romantic Wetherspoons experience.
AND if that’s not enough for you, throw an extra fiver the way of the glum looking bartender and you’ll be able to swap your drink for a bottle of Prosecco. Why you’d do that, and swap out a lovely, lovely delicious pint out for what is essentially just fizzy nonsense, remains to be seen. But this is your day, don’t let me ruin it*.
Last but not least, if you are already eyeing up table 34 at the Watermelon & Goose, or whatever obscure Spoons you have as your local, for your perfect Valentine’s Day meal, please do be aware that you can now purchase engagement rings from Poundland for a quid, should you want to go the whole hog and make it the most/least romantic day possible.
Just saying. The option is there. A literal Valentine’s engagement meal for 21 beans. You can’t beat that value for money. Romance isn’t dead after all.
*make infinitely better