Day 18
Big bag of Love Island with the boys.
Last night’s Love Island was a dramatic affair, with most of it based around Yewande, Danny and Arabella’s hectic love triangle. In other news, the planet is still dying.
Elsewhere, Curtis and Amy came back from their date completely oblivious to what had unfolded, dancing in front of fire like lunatics / troublingly close siblings, which was a trip.
Queen Maura took the title of Baddest Bitch of The Episode thanks to her well-needed outburst as a result of Tom being a straight up pig regarding their hideaway prize.
Here’s six dumb things you might have missed during the show.
1. Molly-Mae brought snacks to watch the drama unfold between Yewande and Danny
Mad respect to the islanders this year. They make no effort to conceal their blatant eavesdropping on the various arguments going on around the villa at any given time and it’s a refreshing approach to see. They’ll often change seating arrangements, angling themselves in such a way that they can both see and hear what their friends are arguing about. Last night, Molly-Mae kicked things up a gear by having the presence of mind to bring snacks as an accompanying treat while watching the unfolding drama between Yewande and Danny. It’s unclear what she was eating, but it appeared to be half a sandwich. Either this was a subliminal message to let Joe that they’re all thinking of him, or Molly-Mae perfectly understands how to consume drama.
2. The ghosts of Maura and Michael brushed their teeth before bed
Perhaps it is camera trickery, or perhaps, if you pause last night’s show at exactly 24.31, you will notice that the ghosts of Maura and Michael are brushing their teeth at the bathroom sinks. Possibly it is merely the transition effect used in the edit, or maybe, just maybe, Maura and Michael have been exposed as ghosts. Think about it. Ghosts are very spooky, they famously have good dental hygiene, are very friendly and enjoy pottery. In that respect, the stars align here. Maura and Michael are the ghosts of Love Island future, coming back to do some unfinished business (Tommy and Amber respectively). We wish them all the best in their respective spooky endeavours.
3. Yewande sleeps with a chocolate bar at her bedside because the girl has her priorities in order
After waking unhealthily early, Yewande lay in bed watching whatever the Love Island intranet equivalent of Instagram stories are, replaying footage of rat boy Danny having a great time with all his mates. But if you look to the right of the phone screen, therein lies Yewande’s true self. She keeps a bedside choccy bar on standby because her priorities are in impeccable order. What if she needs a drink in the middle of the night? She will go thirsty. What if she needs some painkillers to numb the pain of being alive? She will go without. What if she needs a hit of Mister Choc’s imitation twist on a classic bar? She’s gonna chomp down on a little choccy choc. Yewande’s bed may be empty, but her belly will always be suitably replenished because she simply gets it.
4. Arabella’s tattoo gave us all some excellent life advice
As she was reading out a trademark Love Island text which uses hashtags despite them being utterly defunct, Arabella’s ‘Believe Your Dreams’ tattoo became visible. Finally, the Love Island villa has a true philosopher in their midst. These words serve as excellent advice to all lucky enough to witness them. For example, last night I dreamt that I was drowning on a sinking cruise next to Anthea Turner and when I woke up, I wasn’t drowning, but if the house had flooded, perhaps I could’ve been. Anthea Turner, nor I, nor anyone else is exempt from the threat of drowning on a cruise or otherwise. I believe that that could happen. I will never go near a large body of water with the former Blue Peter presenter as a result. Not if you paid me.
5. Bridget Jones made a brief appearance to give the Gym Bunny challenge some legitimacyÂ
Smashing! Another Love Island challenge task designed to make the islanders look incredibly foolish, complete with degrading outfits and a tenuous narrative. Heck, last night’s task needed little more than Bridget Jones to give the whole thing the legitimacy it deserved. Fun Fact: You can add Bridget Jones to any Love Island scene and it still works and looks every bit as credible. Try it yourself, add a fictional character to a heavily-constructed reality television series today. The results might surprise you!
6. After being stealthily passed a johnny from Curtis, Tom immediately clutched it in preemptive victory very close to his mouth
This entire interaction was deeply uncomfortable to watch and begs many questions, all of which I will now list:
- How did Curtis get his hands on a johnny so quickly?
- Why did Tom so willingly accept a congratulatory handshake for being invited into a different bed for the night?
- Why is Michael so excited for a guy he has known for less than a week?
- Why did Tom clutch the johnny like an olympic gold medal?
- Why did Tom clutch the johnny like an olympic gold medal very close to his mouth?
- How many buttons should a man open on his shirt, even during holiday mode?
- Has Tom’s jawline been cosmetically altered?
- Given what transpired with Maura after this, will Tom ever get to use that johnny in his natural life now?
Images via ITV
