#AnnounceContent
Football has reached the point where the manner in which a club announces a signing is almost as important as the signing itself. In a world where follower counts and official app ratings are the real quiz, banter-filled transfer unveilings are are huge part of every transfer window.
In the past few years, we have seen some masterpieces and some atrocities. But like every art form, the merits of each transfer announcement are subjective. Is the ‘Come to Besiktas’ meme just bad or intentionally terrible to the extent it becomes funny? That is up to you.
Anyway here are some of the highlights and lowlights of this phenomenon from recent windows. Starting with the worst…
Antonio Rudiger to Chelsea
There’s so much to unpack with this one. Let’s start with the plot. No child is asking for Rudiger on the back of their shirt. I’m sorry. Fine player he is, that simply doesn’t happen at a time when Eden Hazard is at the club. Then there’s the dreadful acting.
I think the child might deliver the best acting performance in this entire video. I’m not even sure the father or the cashier are professional actors. His furious expression upon hearing his child insist upon Rudiger will forever be burned into my memory. It just screams ‘blue passports’.
https://youtu.be/f5M9p9V_z5c
COME TO BESIKTAS (Various signings)
It’s difficult to tell whether Besiktas made these videos with any degree of seriousness or just ramped the weirdness up to 11 for shits and giggles. The terrible acting (concerning how common this is) and painful dance music make combine to make possibly the most bizarre video of its kind. It leaves you utterly confused, unsure how to feel. Still, memorable isn’t it?
#ComeToBeşiktaş ⚡ pic.twitter.com/x2o2xmsc2R
— Beşiktaş JK (@Besiktas) August 2, 2017
Jesus Navas back to Sevilla
A club legend returns. What better way to welcome him home than to *checks notes*… stage a kidnapping, chuck him in a car boot and take him to the Sanchez Pizjuan, where he will do some more bad acting? That’s a completely normal thing to do.
Alexis Sánchez to Manchester United
Hindsight probably plays a huge part in this, but given how badly he has flopped at the club, watching Sánchez play Glory Glory Man United on the piano and stand in the middle of Old Trafford, basking in its aura, is just very funny. Still probably his best performance in a United shirt, am I right?
I can’t stop watching this video of Alexis Sanchez playing the piano. Goosebumps! 🙌 #mufc #Alexis7
pic.twitter.com/b9ZflnECbP— Reppin’ Utd (@ReppinUnited) January 22, 2018
Now onto the good ones. In no particular order.
Stuart Taylor’s contract extension at Southampton
At the height of this nonsense, Southampton blew pretty much every other club out the water with a satirical take on the over-the-top announcement videos. What looks like a trailer for an action film is decorated with witty fake quotes alluding to the absurdity of the video’s plot. And then it turns out all that was just to announce that Stuart Taylor, has signed a contract extension.
Are we doing this right? 👀✍️ #saintsfc pic.twitter.com/TaByabGqci
— Southampton FC (@SouthamptonFC) July 13, 2017
Aleksandar Kolarov to AS Roma
As always, Roma took things one step further for the signing of Kolarov from Man City and flipped the popular ‘go as left field as possible’ strategy on its head, or doubling down on it, I can’t quite decide. Either way it’s unique and brilliant.
The stern looking left-back listens patiently to a club employee talking him through the script for an outlandish video that involves police helicopters, car chases and parachuting into a tornado. Two men in masks lurk behind him. Kolarov says ‘no’, and that’s it.
⚽️🇷🇸🤡👗⚙️🔫🚘🚓🚑💥🏎🚁🗡🌪🇲🇦🐐👀❓
#ASRoma pic.twitter.com/18yhqHS1CC— AS Roma English (@ASRomaEN) July 22, 2017
It’s worth mentioning that in every transfer announcement they make this summer, Roma are raising awareness for missing children in partnership with National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, Telefono Azzurro and Missing People.
Max Meyer to Crystal Palace
The ‘German Messi’ arrived in south London with high hopes of injecting some magic into a Crystal Palace midfield completely devoid of creativity. The club were so excited about signing him they coined the hashtag #MeyerOfLondon. Alas, he has been more of a civil servant to Croydon council.
Introducing the new #MeyerOfLondon… pic.twitter.com/rnSi32iWDp
— Crystal Palace F.C. (@CPFC) August 2, 2018
Andre Moreira to Aston Villa
Capitalising on the Love Island hype last summer, Aston Villa released a video which played on the segment of the show when a contestant receives a text. This time, it was to announce that a new boy had entered the Villa (get it? Like, the club and the place where they live on Love Island.) That new boy was Andre Moreira, a back-up goalkeeper, as demonstrated by the #HesAKeeper hashtag.
Did he do anything in a Villa shirt? Did he fuck. Does it matter? No.
ICYMI: Love Island might be over but we're delighted to announce that a new boy has entered the Villa…#AVFC pic.twitter.com/I2rwt6RnDK
— Aston Villa (@AVFCOfficial) August 1, 2018
