Jose Mourinho, eh. What is he like?!
The former Chelsea manager hates young people, haven’t you heard. When he was at Inter he made Philippe Coutinho dance for his entertainment. Just because he could.*
Then, at Real Madrid, he fast-tracked Raphael Varane into the first team only after the defender agreed to dress up as Raphael from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and eat nothing but pizza for six months.**
And in his second spell at Stamford Bridge he hooked Dominic Solanke up to a complex machine in order to transfer his energy to John Terry. One week of Solanke to 45 minutes of Terry, but Mourinho didn’t care.***
This summer, with the Portuguese boss taking over at Manchester United, some critics have opted to go on a pre-emptive strike against Mourinho.
Journalists, fans and plain old bored people have criticised his youth record, and now they’ve been vindicated.
Like the miser he is, Mourinho has named just NINE Manchester United youth products in the 26-man squad set to face Borussia Dortmund and Manchester City in their pre-season tour of China.
Here it is – our confirmed, 25-man squad heading to China for #MUTOUR… pic.twitter.com/fVO0qzmI2L
— Manchester United (@ManUtd) July 19, 2016
Nine? That’s not even enough for a full team. Hasn’t he heard of the class of ’92?
How can he expect to win people over when he’s only giving chances to Sam Johnstone, Timothy Fosu-Mensah, Paddy McNair, Axel Tuanzebe, Adnan Januzaj, Jesse Lingard, Andreas Pereira, Will Keane and Marcus Rashford. That’s barely one third of the squad.
We won’t rest until he’s naming a first XI with five first-team appearances between them, and then doing the same thing the next week because those guys are too senior.
We want Tyler Blackett as captain. Donald Love on corners. James Wilson in goal.
Come on Jose, don’t you care about youth?
*We made this up. Obviously.
**This too, but that would at least have been a bit more fun
***If you believe this then, well, we don’t know what to say.
